There are so many ways to begin that you can find one you like.
Burning desire is often what drives an author to write a memoir. Let’s say you have that. What comes next? As much as you want to get your life down on paper, you may be at a loss about how to get started on your memoir. Of course, there’s no one way or right way to begin. Different people are successful with different approaches. Let’s look at four of them.
Approach 1
Set Yourself Up
People like plans. They like marking up their calendars and arranging their desks. I’ll sit in this room on this chair, and I’ll write for two hours three mornings a week. I’ll stay off social media and keep my phone on silent.
If that sort of structure and anticipation of consistency will help you to commit to working toward a goal, spend a little time getting it exactly right. Make sure you’ll be comfortable, undisturbed and focused.
And what if you prefer to skip this step? That’s fine, too. It means that you’re one of plenty of people who write—or talk to text—during their work commute or lunch hour. You can concentrate in a dark, noisy hotel room as easily as in a sunny, isolated writer’s cabin. You can get your hungry kids dinner and go right back to wherever you left off in that chapter.
Approach 2
Write an Outline
In my writing career, I have never worked from an outline. Whether I’m writing a book or an article, I don’t know exactly where I’m going when I start. And when I do have a rough idea, I don’t need to get it into outline form in order to keep it in mind.
However, what an outline does, particularly when it’s a detailed outline, is give you tangible assignments. Like this: Roman numeral III is my teenage years. Under that, letter D is the story of the night I ran away. I will write that story this week, and I know where to insert it in the book because I have my outline.
An outline lets you build a book in that sort of piecemeal fashion. You can write according to your mood—some days you might feel ready to tackle the memory of trauma, and other days you just want to write about an inspiring teacher at school or the first time you fell in love. Eventually, the outline gets filled in.
Even if you write it in the order the outline dictates, and even if your book rolls out in generally chronological order, an outline can save you some anxiety. You won’t have to think, “What should come next?” And an outline can serve as a valuable guide in letting you know whether you’re pacing yourself accurately in terms of how many pages you want in the total manuscript.
Approach 3
Write One Story
This is the most common advice for new memoir writers. Just write out that one story that is crystal clear in your memory, and you’ll be on your way. Story by story, your theme will begin to take shape and you’ll be in the habit of writing.
I find that whatever I write first is what I edit the most. Typically, that’s an article’s lede or a book’s introduction or first chapter. I go over it and over it. So the first story you write may not immediately set you out on the big adventure of writing your memoir. But even if you’re like me and rewrite that first story many times, you’re nailing down your voice while perfecting a singular piece of your puzzle. That counts as working—still good use of your time.
Approach 4
Start with Research
Who would do the most tedious part first? Who would put off writing, which is the cathartic part of crafting a memoir, just to dig up some facts? Well, that nutty writer would be me.
I’m not sure whether I’ve ever mentioned that I have not written my own memoir. I’ve ghostwritten or heavily edited other people’s memoirs, and I’ve written about episodes in my life, but I haven’t written my own entire memoir. So maybe on a memoir I would write at least an introduction before diving into the research.
But I’m mostly a reporter, so the facts are what speak to me. Let’s say you want first to tackle the chapter on your ancestry. You want to tell readers about your people, about where you come from. It may not be the first chapter in your book, but it’s your chronological beginning, the seeds that planted your life. In that case, I would interview people who knew my parents before I was born. I’d look through photo albums and read any old letters I had. I’d learn about whatever it was I wanted to share with readers—the areas where my parents grew up or their military service or their own hardships. When I had all of the information, that’s when I’d start writing the chapter on my early life. For me, that’s so much easier than having to pause a lot while I gather the facts, or having to go back and rewrite sections after I find one more person to interview. I like to have it all together and then start.
Always Remember: Your Book, Your Process
I hope this shows you that there’s no one way to kick off the task of writing a memoir. You know yourself. Choose the right way for you. Or try them one at a time and see what sticks. As always, I wish you good luck on this journey.