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Ideas for memoirs content

When Writing Memoirs, Keep in Mind a Reader Profile

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You can’t be all things to all people, the saying goes. That’s the core message of the seventh of Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules for writing short stories, which I’m reviewing week by week and applying to writing memoirs.

Rule 7: Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

This advice is pertinent to writing an autobiography. Let’s say your primary purpose is to provide your grandchildren and generations thereafter with the gift of reading about your life from your personal perspective. In that case, you’ll probably want to include many details about your family and the upbringing of your children (their parents). Now let’s say you’re writing a book for wider distribution. The general reader who enjoys autobiographical work will be more interested in the adventurous episodes of your life. Maybe you’ve been a soldier, competitive athlete, accomplished professional or victim of a tragedy. These tales will more likely keep the reader involved than if you go into great detail about raising your children. With this reader in mind, you also have more freedom to describe adult-oriented situations with language appropriate for that readership.

You may even want to write two autobiographies. One can be a G-rated memoir for your family, while the other takes a more sophisticated approach. Bottom line is that I agree with Mr. Vonnegut: you want your life story to be focused and healthy, not to catch pneumonia!

A Strong Memoir Conveys Struggle, Triumph

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Many of our members who talk to us about writing their memoirs have been through some very rough times. It’s a relief for them to spill it out by writing, and some hope that perhaps a movie will be made about their life and the way they survived their hardship. Continuing with our series of reviewing celebrated author Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules for writing short stories, we’re up to the sixth rule, and this one is a good fit for writing memoirs:

Rule 6: Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

Applying this fiction-writing rule to non-fiction, you do not have to invent your troubled times, because you’ve lived them! Even if you’ve had a relatively easy life, no one escapes some difficulties. The chapters that deal with those episodes may end up being the most compelling parts of your autobiography. They also may be the most challenging for you to write. Recounting your darkest days will provide the opportunity for you to demonstrate, as Vonnegut says, what you’re “made of.??? Misfortune tests your mettle; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Whether your life story centers on your triumph over adversity or includes only a couple of sad experiences, use those accounts to keep your readers interested and put a yardstick to your personal growth during your lifetime.

Cryptic Advice For Memoir Writing Begs for Explanation

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As I continue along my journey of applying Kurt Vonnegut’s rules for short story writing to writing memoirs, I’m a little confounded by number five:

Rule 5: Start as close to the end as possible.

Perhaps here is where a memoir and a short story part company. When you’re relating your entire life story, shouldn’t you start with your birth? Look at it another way. Your life really is a collection of stories—short stories, if you will. Each episode contains its own set of background facts and paths leading up to the action. The lesson from this rule is to lay out the information the reader needs without indulging yourself by providing more than that.

Think of the way you might tell a friend about something that once happened to you. The story is compelling, or you wouldn’t be talking about it. But the set-up—frequently that’s a lot less interesting. You begin telling your pal the whole “back story??? and, the further you proceed, the more restless your friend becomes until finally blurting out, “Just get to the point!??? Keep that impatience in mind as you take your readers along your life’s tale. By building story upon story, much of the background information will present itself. Start as close to the end of each episode as possible, and you’ll have a stronger autobiography than if you ramble around the middle.

Another Key Memoir Writing Principle: Don’t Squander Your Words

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With this next guideline, we’ll be halfway through Kurt Vonnegut’s rules of writing short stories that I’m tweaking to apply to your non-fictional memoir.

Rule 4: Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.

You might think that because Vonnegut intended these rules specifically for writers of short stories, not even novels, that the word “short??? is key to understanding why a story should embrace Rule 4. But I would argue that even if your memoir is as long as Ulysses at roughly 268,000 words, you should keep this rule at close hand. In fact, I’d swap out “sentence??? for “word???—you should be able to justify the inclusion of every single word you write. If you don’t need a “very,??? a “really??? or an “I think,??? what’s it doing in there?

However, I will permit playing a bit fast and loose with determining what information reveals character or advances the action. In your autobiography, you’ll have to provide explanation and background, which at first glance does not seem to meet either of Rule 4’s requirements but, in my opinion, it certainly can if crafted properly; it’s okay if the payoff does not show up until chapters later. If the sentence truly does not contribute in even a minor way toward revealing someone’s character or advancing the action, though, then I agree with Kurt: your tale is better off without it.

Everyone Wants Something!

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In applying some general writing rules to your memoirs, I’m up to Rule 3 of Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules for writing a short story.

Rule 3: Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

This rule makes me laugh. I think Vonnegut is saying that you shouldn’t bring in characters unless you give the reader some understanding of what motivates that character and what that person is seeking. I’m not sure this applies to an autobiography, though. In fiction, you have more of a choice about introducing and developing characters than you do as a narrator of a true life story. For example, you may name a grandparent who died when you were too young to recall a lot about the person, and you can’t just make it up! You may talk about a teacher in terms of how that person impacted your life, but you’re not really concerned with the teacher’s own needs and desires.

What I think you can take from this rule, though, is to be open and analytical about what you want at each stage of your life. Don’t just describe what happens; clarify what you hoped would happen, what you wanted to get from your relationships and why you pursued the goals you did. If you also feel it’s useful to flesh out some of the other people in your life, keep in mind Vonnegut’s third rule of delving into those people’s dreams and expectations.

Vonnegut’s Rule 2: Get Readers on Your Side

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We’re on to Rule 2 of Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules for writing a short story, which I’m tweaking to apply to your nonfiction memoirs.

Rule 2: Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

Since you’re the protagonist of your autobiography, I think this is an easy rule to follow! You probably are presenting yourself in a favorable light; I doubt that you’re writing an entire memoire from a self-loathing perspective. You’re a naturally sympathetic character!

But there’s still a writing lesson here. It has more to do with the way you should be building a little suspense. How do you get your readers to “root??? for you? Craft a narrative that maps out how you overcame adversity, reached a tough goal, triumphed over a rival or confronted a demon. Examples include conquering an addiction, repairing an important relationship or working to achieve a rags-to-riches fairytale. Any accomplishment that took a bit of blood, sweat and tears can work. Something as simple as winning a local sports events will be riveting if you write it with that “root for me??? approach in mind. So do not interpret this rule to mean that your autobiography should not reveal your flaws. In fact, the rule indicates quite the opposite: showing your darker side and your struggles, and then examining how you got through them and worked toward light, will have readers rooting for you all the way.

Vonnegut’s Rule 1: Don’t Waste the Reader’s Time

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Last time, I listed celebrated author Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules of fiction writing. Although your memoir is a work of nonfiction, these rules still can guide you in crafting a piece of writing that is interesting to read.

Rule 1: Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

For most of you, your memoir will not be read by strangers. However, your friends and relatives deserve just as much consideration! They’re interested in your life’s events but still do not want to have their time wasted. It’s important to remind yourself frequently of this rule. Since you’re writing your autobiography, apparently you feel that your life is interesting. Don’t make your memoir boring!

Include stories that your readers may not have heard before. These can be just small tales that you didn’t bother to tell people but now provide insight into who you are. Be candid about your emotional reactions to the events you recapture. Write in a compelling fashion to create a vivid picture of your early years so that your children and grandchildren will truly understand what it was like to grow up when you did. Describe in detail the visuals, sounds and smells. Mention what the weather was like on the day you’re recounting. Using these devices will keep your readers wanting to continue reading about your life and feeling that the hours they spend reading about you is time well-spent.

Letters and Email Hold Memories for Your Memoir

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Think about it: you’ve already written much about your life story. Before about ten years ago, we called these write-ups “letters???; we wrote them on paper and mailed them to friends. Today, of course, we do that through email and blogs, and we may forego capitalization and proper spelling and grammar—but we do still share our emotions and recount our activities for all those interested in reading about us. So consider how much is already out there for you to capture.

The obvious advantage in getting hold of your own past writing is that you don’t have to write that part again! The other benefit is that your recollection of the described events will be fresher than it will be if you try to write about it now. Even if you don’t use what you’ve written word for word, your previous writings can serve as part of your research. Certainly if you were writing a biography of someone else, you’d be interested in attaining copies of that person’s original letters and emails.

Many people save letters and emails. It wouldn’t hurt to ask your friends and relatives to search through their attics and inboxes for stacks of your mail and “search results??? of your email. I’ll bet it will provide fascinating reading for you, and when you glean the important sections to include in your memoirs, it will prove just as fascinating for your readers.

“Dynasty??? Star’s Memoir Proves the Point

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“Dynasty??? Star’s Memoir Proves the Point
In the last blog, I suggested ways to write a memoir that isn’t quite a memoir but, rather, blends autobiographical details with other interests you might have. I included the idea of a cookbook that perhaps would recount experiences you’d had when you served the dishes in the recipes.
In this past Sunday’s Parade Magazine, this cookbook idea came up as part of the celebrity Q&A section, “Personality Parade.??? In response to a reader’s query about whether actress Linda Evans, who appeared on the 1980s TV show “Dynasty,??? might write her memoir. Evans confirmed to Parade that she is, indeed, writing an unconventional memoir: “I’m not doing a tell-all because it’s not my style. It’s a book called Recipes for Life, in which I’ll incorporate two of my favorite things—cooking and eating.???
I had no idea this book was in the works, but I’m glad to see that someone like Linda Evans confirms that this genre blend is a viable concept. So if you’ve ever wanted to write any type of instructional manual but also enjoy talking about yourself, you can accomplish both goals in one book. As Evans says, then you’re not focusing on the tell-all aspect of a memoir but relating information in a natural manner that doesn’t have to dance around topics you’d rather not i

In the last blog, I suggested ways to write a memoir that isn’t quite a memoir but, rather, blends autobiographical details with other interests you might have. I included the idea of a cookbook that perhaps would recount experiences you’d had when you served the dishes in the recipes.

In this past Sunday’s Parade Magazine, this cookbook idea came up as part of the celebrity Q&A section, “Personality Parade,??? in response to a reader’s query about whether actress Linda Evans, who appeared on the 1980s TV show Dynasty, might write her memoir. Evans confirmed to Parade that she is, indeed, writing an unconventional memoir: “I’m not doing a tell-all because it’s not my style. It’s a book called Recipes for Life, in which I’ll incorporate two of my favorite things—cooking and eating.???

I had no idea this book was in the works, but I’m glad to see that someone like Linda Evans confirms that this genre blend is a viable concept. So if you’ve ever wanted to write any type of instructional manual but also enjoy talking about yourself, you can accomplish both goals in one book. As Evans says, then you’re not focusing on the tell-all aspect of a memoir but relating information in a natural manner that doesn’t have to dance around topics you’d rather not include.

Mix Memoir Tidbits With Other Non-Fiction Genres

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Maybe a flat-out memoir is not what you’re intending to write. Perhaps you’re writing a cookbook, travel guide, business manual or history of a city. You could be writing any type of non-fiction and either want to include tidbits of your own life story or find yourself doing that as a natural part of the information you’re providing.

Is that okay? Of course. In the example of the cookbook, you could combine each recipe with a tale about a time that you served that dish—who was at the table and why. A travel guide or municipal history lends itself to recounting your experiences in the locations you describe. A business book could discuss lessons you’ve learned from your own businesses, embellished with more personal details than authors of similar books share.

Personalizing an otherwise informational non-fiction book in this manner can entice the reader to keep reading. It’s a bit of a win/win in that the reader receives the information in an entertaining format, while the author has the opportunity to write a modified autobiography without any pressure or obligation of telling more than is comfortable or going outside the parameters of the topic at hand. So think about it. If you want to write a non-fiction book, your own pertinent experiences may be just the angle you need to set it apart.

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Then just set up a chapter and start writing your memoir. Don’t worry about rules. There are no rules to writing your memoir; there are only trends. These trends are based on techniques and features identified in current top-selling memoirs. At best, they’re the flavor of the month. If you’re capturing your life in print for your family, for your own gratification or to inspire readers, rather than aiming to set off Hollywood screenplay bidding wars, these trends don’t even apply to you. You’ll write the memoir that suits you best, and it will be timeless, not trend-driven.There are no rules, but there are four steps:

1. Theme/framework
2. Writing
3. Editing/polishing
4. Self-publishing

You’ve researched this, too, and you’ve been shocked at the price for getting help with any one of those steps, much less all four. That’s because most memoir sites promise to commercialize your work. They’ll follow a formula based on current memoir trends, because they want to convince you that they can turn your memoir into a best-seller. These sites overwhelm you with unnecessary information not to help you, the memoir author, but to address Search Engine Optimization (SEO) algorithms so they can sell more.

That’s not what we do at Write My Memoirs. Our small community of coaches, writers and editors are every bit as skilled as any you’ll find, and we charge appropriately for their expertise and the time they’ll spend helping you craft a compelling, enjoyable read. But you won’t pay an upcharge for other websites’ commercialization, the marketing that follows, and the pages of intimidating “advice.” You can sell your book if you like—we have ISBNs available for you—but our organic process of capturing your story takes a noncommercial path.

If you want help with any or all of the four steps above, choose from our services or save money by selecting one of our packages. If you’d like to talk about what’s right for you, schedule a call. One year from now, you can be holding your published memoir in your hand. And at that point, it will be a big deal!

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