How to Use Pronouns Correctly in Your Memoir, Part 2

You can avoid these four common errors in pronoun use, so don’t give up!

I’m not sure I can make a lesson in how to use pronouns correctly fun, but I hope I can make it comprehensible. Sit down. You’re going to be here a while.

Error 1: Using the subject pronoun as the object pronoun and vice versa

It’s not that either subject pronouns or object pronouns are falling out of favor. They’re all still as popular as ever, but people insert them in the wrong places. First, a reminder of which is which:

• Subject Pronouns: I / he / she / you / we / they / it / who
• Object Pronouns: me / him / her / you / us / them / it / whom

Subject nouns/proper nouns/pronouns cause the action. They’re the main thing. Object nouns/proper nouns/pronouns receive the action. They can be direct objects, indirect objects or objects of the preposition.

With a noun, you don’t have to know whether it’s a subject or object, because it will be the same word. The little boy started kindergarten last month. The teacher called on the little boy. The word doesn’t change until you use a pronoun:

• She started kindergarten last month.
• The teacher called on him.

Easy, right? You wouldn’t say, “Him started kindergarten last month,” or “The teacher called on he.”

But for some reason, when constructing a sentence with two subject pronouns or two object pronouns, people often choose one from each category. The results are wrong: “Her and I went to school together” or “The teacher called on him and I” or “The teacher called on he and me.” Sometimes both of the two pronouns come out wrong, as in “Me and her went to school together” or “The teacher called on he and I.”

Stick with all subject pronouns for the subject and all object pronouns for the object, and if “I” or “me” is one of the pronouns, put it last. The trick is to first construct the sentence with one pronoun at a time. Then you’ll choose the correct pronouns when you combine two or more.

• She and I went to school together.
• The teacher called on him and me.

Here are more examples to show you that it works the same way with “who” and “whom” and whether the object is a direct object, indirect object or object of the preposition:

• I don’t know who will attend the program, but I hope it will be people to whom the information applies.
• They and we brought the salad and dessert, so you can thank them and us for healthy greens and a sweet ending to the meal.
• They gave her and me the notes to read, but time ran out before she and I could share them.

Notice that “you” and “it” use the same form no matter what function they serve:

• I made dinner for you, and you brought me flowers.
• When I read this book, it changed my life, but I still returned it to the library.

Error 2: Using an apostrophe with a possessive pronoun

Possessive pronouns never take apostrophes. Again, let’s start with identifications:

• Possessive pronouns: mine / yours / his / hers / its / ours / theirs / whose
• Possessive adjective pronouns: my / your / his / her / its / our / their / whose
• Reflexive pronouns: myself / yourself / himself / herself / itself / ourselves / yourselves / themselves

Not one apostrophe on that list! If you remember just that rule of punctuation, you will avoid this common error.

Possessive nouns and proper nouns, however, do take apostrophes. Maybe that’s why so many people are confused about this. We say, “Maria’s brother will be here shortly,” “The hurricane damaged both Colin’s house and Jen’s house” and “My dog’s tail got caught in the door.” But drop the apostrophe when you replace the noun or proper noun with its pronoun substitute:

• Her brother will be here shortly.
• Your brother will be here shortly.
• Whose brother will be here shortly?
• The hurricane damaged both of their houses.
• His tail got caught in the door.
• Its tail got caught in the door.

There is no word “his’s,” “her’s,” “their’s” or “your’s,” but there are the words “hers,” “yours” and “theirs,” three of the possessive pronouns:

• The wallet is his.
• That shirt is mine.
• This document is hers.
• The car is ours.
• These gifts are yours.
• The idea was all theirs.

The word “it’s” with an apostrophe doesn’t indicate an exception to the rule of no apostrophes in possessive pronouns. This rule has no exceptions. It means that “it’s” is not a possessive but a contraction. In contractions, an apostrophe replaces one or more letters. We write “doesn’t” for “does not,” for example.

With nouns, proper nouns and pronouns, the contraction shortens words like “is” or “has,” as in “Sam’s driving very well,” or “Olivia’s received the highest honors.” You can shorten a pronoun with another word the same way:

• You’re [you are] trying too hard.
• We’re [we are] doing our best.
• He’s [he is] driving very well.
• She’s [she has] received the highest honors.
• It’s [it is] going to be a nice day.
• It’s [it has] been a long time since I’ve [I have] seen you.
• Who’s [who is] coming with me?
• Who’s [who has] been making that noise?

Test the word you’re using to see whether it’s a shortened form of two words. If you’re shortening two words and one of the words is a pronoun, that’s a contraction and you need an apostrophe. If you’re not shortening two words, then the pronoun you’re using is a possessive and you should not use an apostrophe.

Error 3: Using the object pronoun with “be” verbs

As language evolves, this rule is gradually disappearing. So it’s up to you whether you want to apply it to your writing; sometimes it makes the sentence sound awkward.

Here’s a list of “be” verbs, from the family of the infinitive “to be”: am / is / are / was / were / will be / may be / might be /ought to be / could be / would be / should be / might be / all “been” combinations

If you’re old enough to remember land line phones, you may have been taught to respond, “This is she” or “This is he” when someone asked to speak to you. That shows the correct use of the subject pronoun with a “be” verb. But it can sound wrong, especially since you now know that you should use objective pronouns in the object position. Examples of the subject pronoun with “be” verbs:

• It might have been he who asked for help, but I don’t remember.
• If either of us gets into trouble for this, it will be I.
• The ones who hosted the party were we.

My best advice is to never use those constructions but also not to write the technically incorrect “it will be me” or “it might have been him.” Instead, you can switch the order and possibly simplify the sentence:

• He might have been the one to ask for help, but I don’t remember.
• Of the two of us, I will be the one who gets into trouble for this.
• We hosted the party.

Error 4: Being imprecise in choosing a pronoun that ends a clause.

Don’t get thrown by the word “clause”—it just means a full thought with a subject and verb. A sentence can be a single clause or comprise two or more clauses.

For precision, you may have to draw out the sentence in your mind to determine whether to use the subject pronoun or the object pronoun. For example, would you say, “I love you more than she” or “I love you more than her”? Your decision depends on your intended meaning:

• Don’t marry her! I love you more than she [does].
• My ex-girlfriend? Of course I love you more than [I love] her.
• He’s not as tall as I [am], but he plays tennis better than I [do].
• I won’t give you as much of a raise as [I’ll give] him, but I predict that you’ll advance in the company faster than he [will].

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