It Helps Keep You Focused as You Write
As you start your memoir, identifying your ideal reader will help you determine what to include and what tone to use. As the writing process continues, picturing that reader will keep reminding you of both aspects. But how do you figure out who your reader is, this wonderful person lapping up every word you write about yourself?
Younger You
The most obvious people who will want to read your book are those who might learn something that will help them. This applies primarily to memoirs about overcoming trauma, illness, abuse or other major life hurdle. But a memoir focused on achievement or simply the life you led also can teach and inspire people who are finding themselves with similar goals or in comparable situations. Who is this reader? A younger you.
Picture yourself at the time you were dealing with the trauma, challenges or successes you describe in the book. What will you write that will guide Younger You to navigate through the inevitable roadblock or take advantage of an open door? That doesn’t mean write it as an advice column, but describe your stories and experiences clearly enough for readers facing the same thing to have positive outcomes.
People Who Know You
Your friends and family, along with anyone you mention in the book, will be interested in what you write—but mostly what you say about them. So, really, these are the readers you should not write for. Picturing your late mother in heaven as you praise the way she raised you is fine. Picturing your living mother scowling as you criticize the way she raised you will only keep you from writing your truth.
Still, it’s valuable to stay accountable to these readers in terms of making sure you’re accurate. Was it windy on that day, or are you throwing in a strong wind just as a device to create a mental image? Take the time to google what the weather actually was that day, because your friend may remember, or google, and catch you in the minor fabrication. When readers see that you’re making up the little things, you start to lose them on the big things. Will that conversation with your boss sound at least plausible all these years later to a coworker who was there at the time?
The danger is worrying about hurting the feelings of people you know. And the concern so many memoir authors have—that someone will sue them for writing negatively about the person—influences authors, often unnecessarily, to hold back. These people have already harmed you; one reason you’re publishing your memoir is to speak up for yourself. So don’t let them now stop you from authentic, possibly cathartic, writing.
People Familiar with Your Time/Place
Even if people don’t know you, if they’ve lived in the small town you’re describing or if they’re roughly your age and remember the way things were just as you recount them, they’re potential readers for your book. So, again, take the time to get the details right. Be both accurate and comprehensive. Don’t rush through; it’s okay to take a paragraph or a page to create a full mental picture of a train station or teacher or riverfront or fashion craze.
Someone Particularly Interested in Your Theme
Let’s say you triumphed over a rare disease. Maybe you were cured, or perhaps you are doing very well living with it. The reader may not be a younger you with early symptoms, but an interested reader can be an academic researcher into the disease, could have a relative with the condition, may be curious about the disease after having seen a movie or TV show about it, or may be living with a similarly serious health issue. Or there could be any number of other reasons for a reader looking to learn how you overcame the worst of the disease.
For this reader, you’ll want to provide details that other readers may skim through. This is a tough judgment call. You don’t really want readers skipping whole chapters. But documentation can be a critical part of your theme. You have to show evidence for your point of view, you need the play-by-play for surgeries or a recovery, or you may want to include resources for people facing the same plight. If you can make these details a compelling part of the story, readers will get through them. So the goal here, as throughout your book, is to write in a way that keeps readers with you.
Story Lovers
If you’re a natural storyteller, or if you can become one, you’re on the path to writing a good or great memoir. As I often do, I’ll use the example of Tara Westover’s memoir, Educated. I don’t personally relate to Mormons or survivalists or bad parenting (despite what my kids say LOL), but I love a captivating story, and Educated delivered, so I enjoyed it.
Picture your reader as someone who feasts on great novels. Keep writing with that critical reader having the choice with each chapter to continue going or put down your book and not bother to pick it up again. Make your stories fresh and surprising, frightening or funny or enlightening. End some chapters with a cliffhanger, or skillfully allude to something in the future that explains what you’re saying now. Keep hooking the storytelling fan over and over.
Readers Who Instantly Get You—and Those Who Don’t
And this is the catch. Typically, you want to get readers on your side. You’re probably not writing a memoir to convince readers what a despicable person you used to be, but even in that case you’ll be trying to get them to agree. Usually, though, you want them rooting for you.
Readers who connect right away will stick with you. The problem with picturing only those people is that you may gloss over explanations that will help other readers understand your motives, mindset and circumstances. The trick is to toggle between these two opposing readers and give each enough without alienating the other.
You Can Do It!
I mean, I hope you can do it. I like to give affirmation! A lot of “writing for the reader” can be done on the first edit. Your initial draft is to identify the stories you want to tell and just get yourself on a regular schedule of focusing on your memoir. But as you reread and edit, try to get into the head of the reader. You do eventually want people other than you to love your book.