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Every ordinary life story is extraordinary!

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Every ordinary life story is extraordinary!

Rosanne Ullman

Rosanne Ullman owns Write My Memoirs (writemymemoirs.com) to help people write and self-publish their life stories and co-owns Home Memoir (homememoir.com) to help people capture, in a coffee-table book, the love they have for their home. For 20 years, Rosanne taught grammar at a local adult education program, New Trier eXtention, and that well-received course is the basis for the Write My Memoirs Grammar and Writing Course. Rosanne has a long freelance career writing for and about various industries, particularly the professional beauty industry. Her observations about life appear frequently on various blog sites and include regular contributions to Sixty and Me (sixtyandme.com) and Boomer Cafe (boomercafe.com). Rosanne also is the author of the children’s picture book The Case of the Disappearing Kisses. She holds a Master’s degree in Journalism (MSJ) from Northwestern University’s famed Medill School of Journalism.

Vonnegut’s Rule 1: Don’t Waste the Reader’s Time

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Last time, I listed celebrated author Kurt Vonnegut’s eight rules of fiction writing. Although your memoir is a work of nonfiction, these rules still can guide you in crafting a piece of writing that is interesting to read.

Rule 1: Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

For most of you, your memoir will not be read by strangers. However, your friends and relatives deserve just as much consideration! They’re interested in your life’s events but still do not want to have their time wasted. It’s important to remind yourself frequently of this rule. Since you’re writing your autobiography, apparently you feel that your life is interesting. Don’t make your memoir boring!

Include stories that your readers may not have heard before. These can be just small tales that you didn’t bother to tell people but now provide insight into who you are. Be candid about your emotional reactions to the events you recapture. Write in a compelling fashion to create a vivid picture of your early years so that your children and grandchildren will truly understand what it was like to grow up when you did. Describe in detail the visuals, sounds and smells. Mention what the weather was like on the day you’re recounting. Using these devices will keep your readers wanting to continue reading about your life and feeling that the hours they spend reading about you is time well-spent.

Vonnegut’s 8 Fiction “Rules??? Offer Wisdom for Memoirs

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Your memoir is a piece of nonfiction so, by definition, the story has limitations because you can’t make stuff up. Still, I find the “eight rules for writing a short story??? that famed author Kurt Vonnegut outlined in his book, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction, to be informative even for autobiography writers.

First, let me share Vonnegut’s full list:

  1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
  2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
  3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
  4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
  5. Start as close to the end as possible.
  6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
  7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
  8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

In the next blog, I’ll begin addressing each rule and add a twist on how you can best apply it to writing your memoirs.

Letters and Email Hold Memories for Your Memoir

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Think about it: you’ve already written much about your life story. Before about ten years ago, we called these write-ups “letters???; we wrote them on paper and mailed them to friends. Today, of course, we do that through email and blogs, and we may forego capitalization and proper spelling and grammar—but we do still share our emotions and recount our activities for all those interested in reading about us. So consider how much is already out there for you to capture.

The obvious advantage in getting hold of your own past writing is that you don’t have to write that part again! The other benefit is that your recollection of the described events will be fresher than it will be if you try to write about it now. Even if you don’t use what you’ve written word for word, your previous writings can serve as part of your research. Certainly if you were writing a biography of someone else, you’d be interested in attaining copies of that person’s original letters and emails.

Many people save letters and emails. It wouldn’t hurt to ask your friends and relatives to search through their attics and inboxes for stacks of your mail and “search results??? of your email. I’ll bet it will provide fascinating reading for you, and when you glean the important sections to include in your memoirs, it will prove just as fascinating for your readers.

“Dynasty??? Star’s Memoir Proves the Point

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“Dynasty??? Star’s Memoir Proves the Point
In the last blog, I suggested ways to write a memoir that isn’t quite a memoir but, rather, blends autobiographical details with other interests you might have. I included the idea of a cookbook that perhaps would recount experiences you’d had when you served the dishes in the recipes.
In this past Sunday’s Parade Magazine, this cookbook idea came up as part of the celebrity Q&A section, “Personality Parade.??? In response to a reader’s query about whether actress Linda Evans, who appeared on the 1980s TV show “Dynasty,??? might write her memoir. Evans confirmed to Parade that she is, indeed, writing an unconventional memoir: “I’m not doing a tell-all because it’s not my style. It’s a book called Recipes for Life, in which I’ll incorporate two of my favorite things—cooking and eating.???
I had no idea this book was in the works, but I’m glad to see that someone like Linda Evans confirms that this genre blend is a viable concept. So if you’ve ever wanted to write any type of instructional manual but also enjoy talking about yourself, you can accomplish both goals in one book. As Evans says, then you’re not focusing on the tell-all aspect of a memoir but relating information in a natural manner that doesn’t have to dance around topics you’d rather not i

In the last blog, I suggested ways to write a memoir that isn’t quite a memoir but, rather, blends autobiographical details with other interests you might have. I included the idea of a cookbook that perhaps would recount experiences you’d had when you served the dishes in the recipes.

In this past Sunday’s Parade Magazine, this cookbook idea came up as part of the celebrity Q&A section, “Personality Parade,??? in response to a reader’s query about whether actress Linda Evans, who appeared on the 1980s TV show Dynasty, might write her memoir. Evans confirmed to Parade that she is, indeed, writing an unconventional memoir: “I’m not doing a tell-all because it’s not my style. It’s a book called Recipes for Life, in which I’ll incorporate two of my favorite things—cooking and eating.???

I had no idea this book was in the works, but I’m glad to see that someone like Linda Evans confirms that this genre blend is a viable concept. So if you’ve ever wanted to write any type of instructional manual but also enjoy talking about yourself, you can accomplish both goals in one book. As Evans says, then you’re not focusing on the tell-all aspect of a memoir but relating information in a natural manner that doesn’t have to dance around topics you’d rather not include.

Mix Memoir Tidbits With Other Non-Fiction Genres

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Maybe a flat-out memoir is not what you’re intending to write. Perhaps you’re writing a cookbook, travel guide, business manual or history of a city. You could be writing any type of non-fiction and either want to include tidbits of your own life story or find yourself doing that as a natural part of the information you’re providing.

Is that okay? Of course. In the example of the cookbook, you could combine each recipe with a tale about a time that you served that dish—who was at the table and why. A travel guide or municipal history lends itself to recounting your experiences in the locations you describe. A business book could discuss lessons you’ve learned from your own businesses, embellished with more personal details than authors of similar books share.

Personalizing an otherwise informational non-fiction book in this manner can entice the reader to keep reading. It’s a bit of a win/win in that the reader receives the information in an entertaining format, while the author has the opportunity to write a modified autobiography without any pressure or obligation of telling more than is comfortable or going outside the parameters of the topic at hand. So think about it. If you want to write a non-fiction book, your own pertinent experiences may be just the angle you need to set it apart.

Original Interviews Can Help You Write Memoirs

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When I write my memoirs I plan to mix personal reflection and research with original interviews. I suggest you do this as well. You don’t have to interview everyone you’ve ever known, but I bet you’ll get some great material for inclusion in your life story if you talk to even a few of the people who have influenced you or impacted the direction that your life has taken.

If your parents are alive, get them to a tape or video recorder immediately! They will prove to be rich sources of information about your early life. An aunt, uncle, older neighbor or family friend can substitute or supplement if necessary. How about a teacher or professor? Even if he or she doesn’t remember much about you as a student, a teacher can describe the educational practices of the time and save you hours in the library or on the Internet, especially since the information will relate to the school you actually attended.

Your best friend while growing up, coming of age or during adulthood can lend yet a different perspective, as can a spouse. Even your children will be helpful in providing a vantage point that, by definition, you are incapable of having yourself. In rehashing old stories, my kids often serve up insight that reflects on my parenting. Sometimes their younger minds recall details that have not stuck with me. The simple interview can be enlightening as you write your memoirs and fill a lot of factual holes!

Your Autobiography Reflects Your Generation

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I was reading an article about the aging of Generation X, which got me thinking about how our generation shapes our lives. I don’t mean only the time frame into which we were born. Obviously your life will be influenced by a war as you’re coming of age, a recession that costs you a job, a sociological revolution that adjusts your options in society or a technological boom that changes your professional direction. But the people you grow up alongside also have an impact. Your memoirs are bound to reveal that.

If you’re part of what’s referred to as the “greatest generation,??? which lived through both world wars, your contemporaries have a sense of sacrifice and accomplishment. If, like me, you’re a Baby Boomer, you never feel alone. It’s such a huge and self-analyzing generation that everywhere we turn we have someone to whom we can relate, someone who will commiserate or celebrate with us. It provides a collective consciousness that we love to share with each other.

But if you are part of GenX, you might want to check out that article since it makes it sound as if, unlike the Boomers’ case, very little is written about you. You’re alienated and you feel displaced. That’s a great way to frame your memoirs—and motivation for writing them! At least your own life story will be recorded!

What do Teen Autobiographers Write About?

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I’m sure you’re excited to learn that passages are being leaked from First Step 2 Forever: My Story, the autobiography of 16-year-old Justin Bieber. Or maybe you’ve never even heard of Justin Bieber, the latest sensation to top the pop charts. In either case, perhaps you wonder: what’s there to write about when you’ve been on the planet only 16 years?

Apparently, there’s enough to inspire quite a few young people to tell their life story, short though it might be. Of course, there’s childhood. Actress Drew Barrymore’s autobiography, also written at the age of 16, recounted less-than-innocent early years with the introduction of drugs and alcohol, and Kelly Osbourne, who waited until she was a ripe 24 before penning her memoir, told some harrowing tales about growing up under the same roof as dad Ozzy. Gymnast Shawn Johnson, 16 when she wrote her book, and British soccer star Wayne Rooney, who was 22, each focused on a life dedicated to competition and sportsmanship. At just 15, both American pop’s Miley Cyrus and British classical vocalist Charlotte Church revealed details about their somewhat ordinary childhood that proceeded during their very extraordinary rise to fame.

These young authors wrote memoirs more for their fans than for themselves or their families. You may not have legions of fans, but if mere teens can find enough interesting about their lives to craft an autobiography, certainly you can draw on your experiences to knock out a book’s worth of chapters. Keep writing!

Own Your Life Story—Or Someone Else Might

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Own Your Life Story—Or Someone Else Might
You’re probably not nearly as famous as poet Emily Dickinson. But if you’re on the fence about whether to write your memoirs, you might want to consider what’s still happening 124 years after Dickinson’s death.
The New York Times last Sunday reviewed Lives Like Loaded Guns, just the latest in a series of Emily Dickinson biographies that guess, speculate, presume and assume regarding all sorts of details involving the somewhat mysterious Miss Dickinson and the feuds that allegedly drew in her family. The book reviewer, Christopher Benfey, repeatedly questioned the assumptions made by the book’s author, Lyndall Gordon. Further, Benfey addressed Gordon’s assertion that “Dickinson scholars remain divided??? about their subject’s feelings toward two particular people in her life.
Most likely your life story will not attract scholars, much less be fascinating enough to divide them. Still, there are lots of people writing memoirs, and you just might end up mentioned in one of them. When you’re the one writing about your own life, you will set straight all the facts and explain your feelings about the people around you. No one will have to wonder why you quit that job, broke up that romance, chose to pursue that area of study or did whatever it is that will remain an inaccessible fact if other people are the only ones who write about you.

You’re probably not nearly as famous as poet Emily Dickinson. But if you’re on the fence about whether to write your memoirs, you might want to consider what’s still happening 124 years after Dickinson’s death.

The New York Times last Sunday reviewed Lives Like Loaded Guns, just the latest in a series of Emily Dickinson biographies that guess, speculate, presume and assume regarding all sorts of details involving the somewhat mysterious Miss Dickinson and the feuds that allegedly drew in her family. The book reviewer, Christopher Benfey, repeatedly questioned the assumptions made by the book’s author, Lyndall Gordon. Further, Benfey addressed Gordon’s assertion that “Dickinson scholars remain divided??? about their subject’s feelings toward two particular people in her life.

Most likely your life story will not attract scholars, much less be fascinating enough to divide them. Still, there are lots of people writing memoirs, and you just might end up mentioned in one of them. When you’re the one writing about your own life, you will set straight all the facts and explain your feelings about the people around you. No one will have to wonder why you quit that job, broke up that romance, chose to pursue that area of study or did whatever it is that will remain an inaccessible fact if other people are the only ones who write about you.

Vote For the Worst Celebrity Memoir

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The Huffington Post (huffingtonpost.com) is taking a poll to determine which celebrity has the worst memoir. If you’re not bored enough to participate in that poll or even read it, I will clue you into what the votes indicate thus far.

The poll offers a continuum of choices 1 through 10, with 1 being “not too bad??? and 10 being “Awful!??? At this point the books and ratings are, in order from the least bad to the most awful: Jane Fonda, My Life So Far, 3.8; Kim Catrall’s Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm, 5.4; George Hamilton, Don’t Mind If I Do, 5.4; Teri Hatcher, Burnt Toast and Other Philosophies of Life, 5.7; Rosie O’Donnell, Celebrity Detox, 5.7; Suzanne Somers, Knockout: Interviews With Doctors Who Are Curing Cancer, 5.8; Macauley Culkin, Junior, 6.4; Lauren Conrad, L.A. Candy, 6.5; Saddam Hussein, Be Gone Demons!, 6.9; Nicole Richie, The Truth About Diamonds, 6.9; Pamela Anderson, Star Struck: A Novel, 7.1; Naomi Campbell’s Swan, 7.3; Fabio’s Wild, 7.3; Victoria Beckham, Learning to Fly, 7.4; Larry the Cable Guy, Git-R-Done, 7.4; David Hasselhoff’s Making Waves, 7.5; Britney Spears, Heart to Heart, 7.8; Paris Hilton’s Confessions of an Heiress, 8.0; Tila Tequila’s Hooking Up With Tila Tequila, 8.1; Carrie Prejean’s Still Standing, 9.3; Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue, 9.4.

Keep in mind that people who go to that website may lean more to the left than to the right politically. Now go back to writing your own memoir, and someday maybe it will get rated!


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Then just set up a chapter and start writing your memoir. Don’t worry about rules. There are no rules to writing your memoir; there are only trends. These trends are based on techniques and features identified in current top-selling memoirs. At best, they’re the flavor of the month. If you’re capturing your life in print for your family, for your own gratification or to inspire readers, rather than aiming to set off Hollywood screenplay bidding wars, these trends don’t even apply to you. You’ll write the memoir that suits you best, and it will be timeless, not trend-driven.There are no rules, but there are four steps:

1. Theme/framework
2. Writing
3. Editing/polishing
4. Self-publishing

You’ve researched this, too, and you’ve been shocked at the price for getting help with any one of those steps, much less all four. That’s because most memoir sites promise to commercialize your work. They’ll follow a formula based on current memoir trends, because they want to convince you that they can turn your memoir into a best-seller. These sites overwhelm you with unnecessary information not to help you, the memoir author, but to address Search Engine Optimization (SEO) algorithms so they can sell more.

That’s not what we do at Write My Memoirs. Our small community of coaches, writers and editors are every bit as skilled as any you’ll find, and we charge appropriately for their expertise and the time they’ll spend helping you craft a compelling, enjoyable read. But you won’t pay an upcharge for other websites’ commercialization, the marketing that follows, and the pages of intimidating “advice.” You can sell your book if you like—we have ISBNs available for you—but our organic process of capturing your story takes a noncommercial path.

If you want help with any or all of the four steps above, choose from our services or save money by selecting one of our packages. If you’d like to talk about what’s right for you, schedule a call. One year from now, you can be holding your published memoir in your hand. And at that point, it will be a big deal!

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