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memoir writing

Try Garner’s as a Reference for Grammar and Usage

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Try Garner’s American Usage as a Reference
So many questions about grammar cannot be answered simply yes/no, either/or. While we tend to think of grammar as cut-and-dried, it’s really more of a reflection of preferred usage at this moment in time—preferred rather than absolutely correct, and only at this moment because a living language is constantly changing. So a grammatical construction you learned in school 40 years ago may be less valid today. That’s less valid, not exactly wrong. Also, word choice, usage and even punctuation vary widely depending on your geography. Each English-speaking country seems to have its own rules.
For all of those reasons, for American writing I like a usage guide that’s not on everyone’s radar: Garner’s American Usage. Most people rely on a stylebook such as the AP Stylebook or the Chicago Manual of Style, or a dictionary like Webster’s or American Heritage. But unlike those references, which provide right-or-wrong information, Garner’s Modern American Usage includes the immensely helpful and sensible “Garner’s Language-Change Index,” a five-stage continuum of acceptability ranging from unacceptable to commonly preferred. Garner’s also is a fun read, adding information about the language and elaborating its points with humor.
A review by School Library Journal published on the Oxford University Press website calls Garner’s “the best of its kind in that it simply reports the facts in an engaging way; language evolves and usage changes. An invaluable ready-reference tool.”
http://www.amazon.com/Garners-Modern-American-Usage-Garner/dp/0195382757/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366214307&sr=8-1&keywords=garner%27s+modern+american+usage
http://www.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/Reference/EnglishUsageGuides/?view=usa&ci=9780195382754

So many questions about grammar cannot be answered simply yes/no, either/or. While we tend to think of grammar as cut-and-dried, it’s really more of a reflection of preferred usage at this moment in time—preferred rather than absolutely correct, and only at this moment because a living language is constantly changing. So a grammatical construction you learned in school 40 years ago may be less valid today. That’s less valid, not exactly wrong. Also, word choice, usage and even punctuation vary widely depending on your geography. Each English-speaking country seems to have its own rules.

For all of those reasons, for American memoir writing I like a usage guide that’s not on everyone’s radar: Garner’s American Usage. Most people rely on a stylebook such as the AP Stylebook or the Chicago Manual of Style, or a dictionary like Webster’s or American Heritage. But unlike those references, which gauge each case as right or wrong, Garner’s Modern American Usage includes the immensely helpful and sensible “Garner’s Language-Change Index,” a five-stage continuum of acceptability ranging from unacceptable to commonly preferred. Garner’s also is a fun read, adding information about the language and elaborating its points with humor.

A review by School Library Journal published on the Oxford University Press website calls Garner’s “the best of its kind in that it simply reports the facts in an engaging way; language evolves and usage changes. An invaluable ready-reference tool.”

Keep a “Quotes Journal” as a Memoir Resource

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Keep a “Quotes Journal” as a Memoir Resource
A lot of people like to include dialogue in their memoirs. It breaks up the copy visually and makes the reading more interesting by really bringing a situation to life. But dialogue can be difficult to write, and that’s not the only problem.
When you relate a conversation, you’re putting quotes around not just your own words, but someone else’s words. You can rely on your memory to paraphrase what happened in a scene you write about, and in a memoir you do the best you can. But there seems to be a higher standard of accuracy in quoting directly, and you can’t possibly remember a conversation word for word even when you are one of the participants or you witness the discussion; you can’t possibly know exactly what was said if you weren’t even present.
If you’re still some years away from writing your memoir, begin now to keep what I call a “quotes journal” of things people say to you that you want to remember precisely. Perhaps it’s the “wise sayings” your mother likes to repeat as advice to you. Maybe it’s a particularly poignant conversation you had with someone. Or, when you experience a traumatic event, it’s interesting to write down all of the comments people make about that occurrence. Their words provide insight into their character as well as into your relationship with them. When you go to write your memoir, you’ll find your quotes journal very helpful.

A lot of people like to include dialogue in their memoirs. It breaks up the copy visually and makes the reading more interesting by really bringing a situation to life. But dialogue can be difficult to write, and that’s not the only problem.

When you relate a conversation, you’re putting quotes around not just your own words, but someone else’s words. You can rely on your memory to paraphrase what happened in a scene you write about, and in a memoir you do the best you can. But there seems to be a higher standard of accuracy in quoting directly, and you can’t possibly remember a conversation word for word even when you are one of the participants or you witness the discussion, much less if you weren’t even present.

If you’re still some years away from writing your memoir, begin now to keep what I call a “quotes journal” of things people say to you that you want to remember precisely. Perhaps it’s the “wise sayings” your mother likes to repeat as advice to you. Maybe it’s a particularly poignant conversation you had with someone. Or, when you experience a traumatic event, it’s interesting to write down all of the comments people make about that occurrence. Their words provide insight into their character as well as into your relationship with them. When you do begin to write your memoir, you’ll find your quotes journal very helpful.

Check Out Some Memoir Writing Classes

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Check Out Some Memoir Writing Classes
Having trouble getting started on your memoir? When you are assigned a memoir-related exercise or a certain number of pages, or if you’re expected to read your aloud to a group, you’re more likely to follow through on your own goals and deadlines. For that reason alone, a memoir class is valuable—and you just might learn how to write a memoir!
Just googling around, I found a few. This is not any sort of recommendation, since we do not have anything to do with these sites, but if you do sign up please leave a comment to let us know how you liked your experience.
It may be too late to sign up for the Tweetspeak workshop, which began yesterday and has a limit of 10 participants. It’s an online class priced at $420 for 12 weekly sessions or $350 for eight.
Gotham Writers’ Workshop offers a 10-week course for $399 plus a $25 registration fee. Beginning next week, new lectures will be posted every Tuesday, and you can access them at your convenience.
For $425, a 16-week online memoir writing class is available from The Memoir Club. This payment includes membership in the club, which has other benefits as well.
“Memoir specialist” Suzanne Sherman offers a variety of options and prices for online memoir writing sessions, including a one-day women’s workshop for just $85.
In addition, most colleges today offer online courses, so you might check the availability of a spot in any university’s online writing class. How about here at Write My Memoirs? Should we start an online memoir writing workshop?

Having trouble getting started on your memoir? When you are assigned a memoir-related exercise or a certain number of pages, or if you’re expected to read your work aloud to a group, you’re more likely to follow through on your own goals and deadlines. For that reason alone, a memoir class is valuable—and you just might learn how to write a memoir!

Just googling around, I found a few. This is not any sort of recommendation, since we do not have anything to do with these sites, but if you do sign up please leave a comment to let us know how you liked your experience.

  • It may be too late to sign up for the Tweetspeak workshop, which began yesterday and has a limit of 10 participants. It’s an online class priced at $420 for 12 weekly sessions or $350 for eight.
  • Gotham Writers’ Workshop offers a 10-week course for $399 plus a $25 registration fee. Beginning next week, new lectures will be posted every Tuesday, and you can access them at your convenience.
  • For $425, a 16-week online memoir writing class is available from The Memoir Writing Club. This payment includes membership in the club, which has other benefits as well.
  • “Memoir specialist” Suzanne Sherman offers a variety of options and prices for online memoir writing sessions, including a one-day women’s workshop for just $85.

In addition, most colleges today offer online courses, so you might check the availability of a spot in any university’s online writing class. How about here at Write My Memoirs? Should we start an online memoir writing workshop?

Memoirists: Can You Remain Anonymous?

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Memorists: Can You Remain Anonymous?
Lately at Write My Memoirs we’ve had customers wanting to publish their memoir with some level of anonymity. On the surface, this seems like a simple request—just publish under a pen name and, if you really want to hide, choose a pen name of the opposite sex.
But that takes you to the next decision. There seems to be no point in changing your name if all of the other people you talk about in your book have their real names. You can’t trace your parents’ heritage and then claim to be a stranger. Who else would write about your ancestry? Only you. So that means you’ll have to change all of the names in your book. If you think people might recognize the situations you’re describing, you’ll need to disguise your work further by changing the location and some of the details of what happened. After all of that, what have you accomplished? You’ve created a work of fiction.
As I see it, there’s no such thing as an anonymous memoir. You’re either telling your life story, or you’re writing a novel based on some events that actually took place. I don’t see much gray area between the two. People have lots of good reasons for wanting to publish an autobiography anonymously—usually because others involved in the story will be hurt or feel betrayed to see themselves in print. Sometimes authors even put their safety at risk when they publish. But the whole reason you want to write your memoir is to get your story told. There’s no way to do that honestly without attaching your name to your work.

Lately at Write My Memoirs we’ve had customers wanting to publish their memoir with some level of anonymity. On the surface, this seems like a simple request—just publish under a pen name and, if you really want to hide, choose a pen name of the opposite sex.

But that takes you to the next decision. There seems to be no point in changing your name if all of the other people you talk about in your book have their real names. You can’t trace your parents’ heritage and then claim to be a stranger. Who else would write about your ancestry? Only you. So that means you’ll have to change all of the names in your book. If you think people might recognize the situations you’re describing, you’ll need to disguise your work further by changing the location and some of the details of what happened. After all of that, what have you accomplished? You’ve created a work of fiction.

As I see it, there’s no such thing as an anonymous memoir. You’re either telling your life story, or you’re writing a novel based on some events that actually took place. I don’t see much gray area between the two. People have lots of good reasons for wanting to publish an autobiography anonymously—usually because others involved in the story will be hurt or feel betrayed to see themselves in print. Sometimes authors even put their safety at risk when they publish. But the whole reason you want to write your memoir is to get your story told. There’s no way to do that honestly without attaching your name to your work.

Children’s Wellbeing Linked to Your Memoir!

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I’m not embarrassed that I read Parade weekly. That skinny little magazine comes with my Sunday newspaper and is hard to ignore, plus it always has some interesting factoids. A few weeks ago, Parade ran a quiz to let readers measure the happiness of their family life. Devised by author Bruce Feiler, the quiz was based on his own research that identified “the ingredients that make families effective, resilient and happy.” The very first question read:

When a team of psychologists measured children’s resilience, they found that the kids who ___ were best able to handle stress.
(a) Ate the same breakfast every day
(b) Knew the most about their family’s history
(c) Played team sports
(d) Attended regular religious services
The answer was (b)! The explanation: “The more children know about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives and the higher their self-esteem. The reason: These children have a strong sense of ‘intergenerational self’—they understand that they belong to something bigger than themselves, and that families naturally experience both highs and lows.”

Intuitively, I really relate to that explanation. Don’t you? Doesn’t that knowledge of what came before you provide a necessary identification of who you are? So if you’re not writing a memoir for your own amusement, write one for your children and grandchildren!

Memoir: “Changing the Narrative”

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Memoir: “Changing the Narrative”
This morning here in “Chicagoland,” as we call it, we awoke to more snow falling—no surprise there—but also to the news that our city’s own Jesse Jackson Jr. is planning to write a memoir. The announcement comes as Jackson is awaiting sentencing after he and his wife pleaded guilty to a bit of crime—filing false tax returns for Sandi, mail fraud and making false statements for Jesse Jr.—that could land Jesse in prison for up to nearly five years. Jackson also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
An unnamed source told The Chicago Tribune that Jackson wants to write the memoir in order to “clear up his legacy” and, since “he has nothing else to do right now,” he’s “desperately trying to change the narrative of his life story.”
As I’ve noted before in blog posts, this is a common reason to write an autobiography, even for people who are not facing jail time and are not famous. It’s human nature to want to clear up and clean up your legacy by correcting the perceived “facts” of your life, justifying your behavior, explaining your intentions and, perhaps, expressing contrition for some of what you’ve done. It’s tricky, though. This type of memoir can sound whiny and be seen as making excuses or blaming other people for your bad decisions. But it also can be very satisfying. Even if you don’t change anyone’s mind, you’ve had the gratification of telling your side of your own life story.

This morning here in “Chicagoland,” as we call it, we awoke to more snow falling—no surprise there—but also to the news that our city’s fallen hero, Jesse Jackson Jr., is planning to write a memoir. The announcement comes as Jackson is awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty to a bit of crime—conspiracy to commit wire fraud, mail fraud and making false statements—that could land Jesse in prison for up to nearly five years. Jackson also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

An unnamed source told The Chicago Tribune that Jackson wants to write the memoir in order to “clear up his legacy” and, since “he has nothing else to do right now,” he’s “desperately trying to change the narrative of his life story.”

As I’ve noted before in blog posts, this is a common reason to write an autobiography, even for people who are not facing jail time and are not famous. It’s human nature to want to clear up and clean up your legacy by correcting the perceived “facts” of your life, justifying your behavior, explaining your intentions and, perhaps, expressing contrition for some of what you’ve done. It’s tricky, though. This type of memoir can sound whiny and be seen as making excuses or blaming other people for your bad decisions. But it also can be very satisfying. Even if you don’t change anyone’s mind as you attempt to “change the narrative,” you have the gratification of telling your side of your own life story. And everyone has the right to do that.

More on Memoirs of War Vets

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Last week, we told you about the Veterans Writing Project, which offers free workshops and seminars to help veterans and their families write about their military-related experience. But this nationwide program is not the only game in town. Other groups, too, encourage veterans to write out their war experiences. Listed in a recent New York Times article were also Warrior Writers and a local one, the Syracuse Veterans’ Writing Group. If you know of others, leave us a comment below and we’ll post them.
For the article, the reporter asked one of the veterans who had written a memoir why this type of autobiography is so important. He told the reporter, “We write to bear witness.” This seems especially true for vets of recent wars—Iraq and Afghanistan—who experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). “The traditional therapies and approaches to PTSD are not getting the job done,” Travis L. Martin, editor of The Journal of Military Experience, told the reporter. “Vets are looking for alternative ways to heal, and they are latching onto writing as a way to do it.”
The article makes the point that writing is therapeutic no matter what type of trauma the writer has experienced. “Expressive writing is used in clinical settings to help patients examine anxieties and abuse that are otherwise unspeakable,” the article goes on to say. “Exposure therapy— retelling a traumatic event over and over until it loses its hold over a patient—often uses writing to extinguish the emotional and physical reaction to trauma.”
If you’re a veteran, we at Write My Memoirs hope you find our site to be a helpful tool that enables you to work through your memories.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/education/edlife/veterans-learn-to-write-and-heal.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
http://www.warriorwriters.org/home.html
http://wrt.syr.edu/syrvetwriters/

Last week, we told you about the Veterans Writing Project, which offers free workshops and seminars to help veterans and their families write about their military-related experiences. But that nationwide program is not the only game in town. Other groups, too, encourage veterans to write out their war experiences. Listed in a recent New York Times article were also Warrior Writers and a local one, the Syracuse Veterans’ Writing Group. If you know of others, leave us a comment below and we’ll post them.

For the article, the reporter asked one of the veterans who had written a memoir why this type of autobiography is so important. He told the reporter, “We write to bear witness.” This seems especially true for vets of recent wars—Iraq and Afghanistan—who experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). “The traditional therapies and approaches to PTSD are not getting the job done,” Travis L. Martin, editor of The Journal of Military Experience, told the reporter. “Vets are looking for alternative ways to heal, and they are latching onto writing as a way to do it.”

The article makes the point that writing is therapeutic no matter what type of trauma the writer has experienced. “Expressive writing is used in clinical settings to help patients examine anxieties and abuse that are otherwise unspeakable,” the article goes on to say. “Exposure therapy— retelling a traumatic event over and over until it loses its hold over a patient—often uses writing to extinguish the emotional and physical reaction to trauma.”

If you’re a veteran, we at Write My Memoirs hope you find our site to be a helpful tool that enables you to work through your memories.

Veterans Find Comfort in Writing War Memoirs

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Veterans Find Comfort in Writing War Memoirs
If you’re a veteran struggling with your memories of war atrocities, there’s substantial evidence that it benefits you to write about your recollections. Even if you served but were not at war, perhaps you witnessed some disturbing events. The Veterans Writing Project wants you to write your story and will help you do that with free workshops and seminars. There’s no charge to you, because the organization is a non-profit and receives funding. Are you a family member of someone who has served? Then you, too, qualify to take the free writing training. The website says:
“We approach our work with three goals in mind. The first is literary. We believe there is a new wave of great literature coming and that much of that will be written by veterans and their families. The next is social. We have in the United States right now the smallest ever proportion of our population in service during a time of war. Less than 1% of Americans have taken part in these most recent wars. Our WWII veterans are dying off at a rate of nearly 1000 per day. We want to put as many of these stories in front of as many readers as we can. Finally, writing is therapeutic. Returning warriors have known for centuries the healing power of narrative. We give veterans the skills they need to capture their stories and do so in an environment of mutual trust and respect.”
The New York Times recently did a story about the growing popularity among veterans to write their memoirs and the increasing number of organizations available to help them. More on that next time.
http://veteranswriting.org/

If you’re a veteran struggling with your memories of war atrocities, there’s substantial evidence that it benefits you to write about your recollections. Even if you served but were not at war, perhaps you witnessed some disturbing events. The Veterans Writing Project wants you to write your story and will help you do that with free workshops and seminars. There’s no charge to you, because the organization is a non-profit and receives funding. Are you a family member of someone who has served? Then you, too, qualify to take the free writing training. The website says:

“We approach our work with three goals in mind. The first is literary. We believe there is a new wave of great literature coming and that much of that will be written by veterans and their families. The next is social. We have in the United States right now the smallest ever proportion of our population in service during a time of war. Less than 1% of Americans have taken part in these most recent wars. Our WWII veterans are dying off at a rate of nearly 1000 per day. We want to put as many of these stories in front of as many readers as we can. Finally, writing is therapeutic. Returning warriors have known for centuries the healing power of narrative. We give veterans the skills they need to capture their stories and do so in an environment of mutual trust and respect.”

The New York Times recently did a story about the growing popularity among veterans to write their memoirs and the increasing number of organizations available to help them. More on that next time.

Procrastination: A Writer’s Enemy

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Procrastination: A Writer’s Enemy
Well, look at that date! It’s Friday, and this blog normally is updated every Tuesday. What happened? I got busy!
We’re all busy, and that’s never more evident than when you’re trying to maintain a writing routine. If you’re writing your memoirs, you’ve probably experienced a lapse at some point. Maybe you wrote every day for two weeks, and then you missed a day because you had to travel, or someone came to visit, or you needed to attend to a home repair—it doesn’t take much to derail a writing habit. Plus it’s February. This is the time of year for breaking all sorts of resolutions, whether it’s to exercise, diet or write. About six weeks into the year, your determination gets tested.
So what do you do if you’ve let your writing slide? You do what I did: get back to it. Yes, today is Friday instead of Tuesday, but who really cares? I could have just skipped this week altogether, but then when next Tuesday rolled around I’d be even more out of the blog habit, maybe be busy again and then I’d let it go another week and a new habit would be forming—a habit of not writing. No, the way to rerail the derail is to go back to that last piece you wrote, read it over, add a sentence and then add another sentence. Tomorrow, do the same. It’s fine to get off schedule and skip a day or a week. Forgive yourself! But you want to write your memoir, and as long as you’re thinking about it there’s no time like the present to just write.

Well, look at that date! It’s Friday, and this blog normally is updated every Tuesday. What happened? I got busy!

We’re all busy, and that’s never more evident than when you’re trying to maintain a writing routine. If you’re writing your memoirs, you’ve probably experienced a lapse at some point. Maybe you wrote every day for two weeks, and then you missed a day because you had to travel, or someone came to visit, or you needed to attend to a home repair—it doesn’t take much to derail a writing habit. Plus it’s February. This is the time of year for breaking all sorts of resolutions, whether it’s to exercise, diet or write. About six weeks into the year, your determination gets tested.

So what do you do if you’ve let your writing slide? You do what I did: get back to it. Yes, today is Friday instead of Tuesday, but who really cares? I could have just skipped this week altogether, but then when next Tuesday rolled around I’d be even more out of the blog habit; maybe I’d be busy again and then I’d let it go another week and a new habit would be forming—a habit of not writing. No, the way to rerail the derail is to go back to that last piece you wrote, read it over, add a sentence and then add another sentence. Tomorrow, do the same. It’s fine to get off schedule and skip a day or a week. Forgive yourself! But you want to write your memoir, and as long as you’re thinking about it there’s no time like the present to just write.

How Will You Feel a Year From Now?

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Old Thoughts for a New Year
Let’s start the year off with some platitudes. Here’s one, since today is not only the first day of 2013, but also: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Hey, it’s true, right? What are you going to do with the rest of your life? Whatever it is, you might as well start today.
Here’s another one, reportedly said by inspirational author Karen Lamb: A year from now you will wish you had started today. As one year turns to another, we tend to tally up what we accomplished during the past year and which goals we never did achieve. We also set new goals for the coming year, or we refocus on goals we haven’t completed.
If you have ever wanted to write your memoir, we here at WriteMyMemoirs are your biggest cheerleaders. It doesn’t matter whether this is a brand new goal for you or one you’ve tried to set in the past. It doesn’t matter whether you have written entire chapters or not yet one word. You can start this very day. Write one paragraph about who you are or what happened on a particular day in your life. Just put down something. Then write a little more tomorrow, or maybe just look over what you wrote today and sharpen it a little. If it’s perfect, even better! Reading it over will motivate you to add another paragraph. Keep that going and you’ll feel pretty great one year from now when you see your memoir all finished. But if you brush it aside, you know what will happen: A year from now you will wish you had started today.

Let’s start the year off with some platitudes. Here’s one, since today is not only the first day of 2013, but also: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Hey, it’s true, right? What are you going to do with the rest of your life? Whatever it is, you might as well start today.

Here’s another one, reportedly said by inspirational author Karen Lamb: A year from now you will wish you had started today. As one year turns to another, we tend to tally up what we accomplished during the past year and which goals we never did achieve. We also set new goals for the coming year, or we refocus on goals we haven’t completed.

If you have ever wanted to write your memoir, we here at WriteMyMemoirs are your biggest cheerleaders. It doesn’t matter whether this is a brand new goal for you or one you’ve tried to set in the past. It doesn’t matter whether you have written entire chapters or not yet one word. You can start this very day. Write one paragraph about who you are or what happened on a particular day in your life. Just put down something. Then write a little more tomorrow, or maybe just look over what you wrote today and sharpen it a little. If it’s perfect, even better! Reading it over will motivate you to add another paragraph. Keep that going and you’ll feel pretty great one year from now when you see your memoir all finished. But if you brush it aside, you know what will happen: A year from now you will wish you had started today.

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Then just set up a chapter and start writing your memoir. Don’t worry about rules. There are no rules to writing your memoir; there are only trends. These trends are based on techniques and features identified in current top-selling memoirs. At best, they’re the flavor of the month. If you’re capturing your life in print for your family, for your own gratification or to inspire readers, rather than aiming to set off Hollywood screenplay bidding wars, these trends don’t even apply to you. You’ll write the memoir that suits you best, and it will be timeless, not trend-driven.There are no rules, but there are four steps:

1. Theme/framework
2. Writing
3. Editing/polishing
4. Self-publishing

You’ve researched this, too, and you’ve been shocked at the price for getting help with any one of those steps, much less all four. That’s because most memoir sites promise to commercialize your work. They’ll follow a formula based on current memoir trends, because they want to convince you that they can turn your memoir into a best-seller. These sites overwhelm you with unnecessary information not to help you, the memoir author, but to address Search Engine Optimization (SEO) algorithms so they can sell more.

That’s not what we do at Write My Memoirs. Our small community of coaches, writers and editors are every bit as skilled as any you’ll find, and we charge appropriately for their expertise and the time they’ll spend helping you craft a compelling, enjoyable read. But you won’t pay an upcharge for other websites’ commercialization, the marketing that follows, and the pages of intimidating “advice.” You can sell your book if you like—we have ISBNs available for you—but our organic process of capturing your story takes a noncommercial path.

If you want help with any or all of the four steps above, choose from our services or save money by selecting one of our packages. If you’d like to talk about what’s right for you, schedule a call. One year from now, you can be holding your published memoir in your hand. And at that point, it will be a big deal!

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