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Memoir writing process

Memoirs From Prison, Part II: Why?

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Memoirs From Prison, Part II: Why?
Hope all of our Americans had a great Fourth of July! Patriotism plays a role in so many memoirs. But today I want to follow up on last week’s blog about the abundance of prison memoirs. What makes people so reflective once they get behind bars?
There’s the obvious—they have more time on their hands than the rest of us do. Also, writing keeps the mind occupied. A blogger, Caleb Smith, posts this explanation from an essay written by Jay Parini: “These books are about self-realization as well as self-justification. They describe a similar pattern: getting into trouble, confronting the claustrophobic and unforgiving world of prison, dealing with growing despair until something or somebody offers a crack in the wall, a little bit of daylight shining through. After a great deal of soul-searching, the writer/prisoner reaches a fresh sense of selfhood, coming to terms with the original sin, forgiving himself or herself. In the very best of these memoirs—especially with a prisoner of conscience or one unjustly jailed—there is often a redeeming social vision at work. The genre bleeds into that of spiritual autobiography.???
I see that same soul-searching as part of lots of memoirs, not just those coming out of Sing Sing. Parini’s insight about people’s need to forgive themselves applies to the broader population as well. Writing our memoirs helps us along that path of self-awareness, forgiveness and, ultimately, redemption.

Hope all of our Americans had a great Fourth of July! Patriotism plays a role in so many memoirs. But today I want to follow up on last week’s blog about the abundance of prison memoirs. What makes people so reflective once they get behind bars?

There’s the obvious—they have more time on their hands than the rest of us do. Also, writing keeps the mind occupied. A blogger, Caleb Smith, posts this explanation from an essay written by Jay Parini: “These books are about self-realization as well as self-justification. They describe a similar pattern: getting into trouble, confronting the claustrophobic and unforgiving world of prison, dealing with growing despair until something or somebody offers a crack in the wall, a little bit of daylight shining through. After a great deal of soul-searching, the writer/prisoner reaches a fresh sense of selfhood, coming to terms with the original sin, forgiving himself or herself. In the very best of these memoirs—especially with a prisoner of conscience or one unjustly jailed—there is often a redeeming social vision at work. The genre bleeds into that of spiritual autobiography.???

I see that same soul-searching as part of lots of memoirs, not just those coming out of Sing Sing. Parini’s insight about people’s need to forgive themselves applies to the broader population as well. Writing our memoirs helps us along that path of self-awareness, forgiveness and, ultimately, redemption.

Baby Boomer Grandparents Are Sure to Write Memoirs

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Baby Boomer Grandparents Are Sure to Write Memoirs
With about 10,000 of the American baby boom generation turning 65 each day for the next 19 years, we should see boomers put the boom in the memoir trend.  They’ve redefined every stage of life, and there’s no reason to expect grandparenthood to be different. Consider:
There’s lots to write about. Boomers have been flower children in Haight Ashbury and soldiers in Viet Nam. They’ve marched for civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights and even animal rights. They make up a hefty piece of the workforce in every industry from finance and manufacturing to education, medicine and law. They’ve packed a lot into their 65 years.
Boomers talk about themselves. Whether you view them as narcissistic and egocentric or generously giving and open to sharing, there’s little argument that boomers have made an art of navel gazing. Will they leave this world without documenting their lives? Unlikely.
Being a grandparent is motivating. People want the next generation to have personal and family information about what came before.
It’s easier than ever to write an autobiography. Computers make all the difference. Word processing software provides spellcheck and grammarcheck, while the Internet offers places like our WriteMyMemoirs website for you to access tips and help to get your stories online and into print.
If you were born between 1946 and 1964, you’re a baby boomer. And if you’re here on the Memoirs site, you’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time you wrote your life story. As one of 78 million in your generation, you’re not the only one with that idea.

With about 10,000 of the American baby boom generation turning 65 each day for the next 19 years, we should see boomers put the boom in the memoir trend.  They’ve redefined every stage of life, and there’s no reason to expect grandparenthood to be different. Consider:

  • There’s lots to write about. Boomers have been flower children in Haight Ashbury and soldiers in Viet Nam. They’ve marched for civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights and even animal rights. They make up a hefty piece of the workforce in every industry from finance and manufacturing to education, medicine and law. They’ve packed a lot into their 65 years.
  • Boomers talk about themselves. Whether you view them as narcissistic and egocentric or generously giving and open to sharing, there’s little argument that boomers have made an art of navel gazing. Will they leave this world without documenting their lives? Unlikely.
  • Being a grandparent is motivating. People want the next generation to have personal and family information about what came before.
  • It’s easier than ever to write an autobiography. Computers make all the difference. Word processing software provides spellcheck and grammarcheck, while the Internet offers places like our WriteMyMemoirs website for you to access tips and help to get your stories online and into print.

If you were born between 1946 and 1964, you’re a baby boomer. And if you’re here on the Memoirs site, you’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time you wrote your life story. As one of 78 million in your generation, you may not be the only one with that idea, but your story will still be unique!

Memoir vs. Autobiography

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Memoir vs. Autobiography
The other day someone asked me to define the difference between memoir and autobiography. Here at Write My Memoirs, we use the terms interchangeably, so I had to do a little research to learn whether we’re in accordance with general usage. While I think that most people do consider the terms to be more or less synonymous, some writers and publishers make a distinction.
The best explanation of memoir vs. autobiography I found was by Laura Tretter, director of the San Juan Island Public Library. First, I needed to figure out where San Juan Island was. Did you know that it’s nowhere near San Juan, Puerto Rico? Nope, it’s part of Washington state—far north, near British Columbia, Canada. So I learned something there.
When Ms. Tretter researched the use of these two similar words, she discovered that, primarily, people who distinguish memoir from autobiography consider the former to be an account of any part of the author’s life, delivered in any order, while the latter relates all of the notable events of the author’s life, typically in chronological order. So if you’re writing only about your service in World War II or your days as a Broadway dancer, you’re crafting a memoir. If you’re starting with your birth and providing your life’s details leading to present day, you’re writing an autobiography. At Write My Memoirs, we invite you to author either one!

The other day someone asked me to define the difference between memoir and autobiography. Here at Write My Memoirs, we use the terms interchangeably, so I had to do a little research to learn whether we’re in accordance with general usage. While I think that most people do consider the terms to be more or less synonymous, some writers and publishers make a distinction.

The best explanation of memoir vs. autobiography I found was by Laura Tretter, director of the San Juan Island Public Library. First, I needed to figure out where San Juan Island was. Did you know that it’s nowhere near San Juan, Puerto Rico? Nope, it’s part of Washington state—far north, near British Columbia, Canada. So I learned something there.

When Ms. Tretter researched the use of these two similar words, she discovered that, primarily, people who distinguish memoir from autobiography consider the former to be an account of any part of the author’s life, delivered in any order, while the latter relates all of the notable events of the author’s life, typically in chronological order. So if you’re writing only about your service in World War II or your days as a Broadway dancer, you’re crafting a memoir. If you’re starting with your birth and providing your life’s details leading to present day, you’re writing an autobiography. At Write My Memoirs, we invite you to author either one!

Six-Word Memoirs: A Fun Fad

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Six-Word Memoirs: A Fun Fad
If you like “putting things in a nutshell,??? you’ll enjoy a trend now into its fifth year: the six-word memoir. Can you boil your life down to six words?
You can add your mini-mini-tome to the growing list at the website of the publication that launched this idea, Smith Magazine, or go to AARP Magazine, which also collects people’s six-word memoirs. Or leave it here in a comment below, and we’ll start our own collection! The concept was inspired by the master of brief writing, Ernest Hemingway who, according to legend, answered a challenged to craft a short story of only six words by writing, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.??? Several books have come out of this project, starting with Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure.
Want some examples? From the Smith Magazine site: “Pregnancy: nine months of unsolicited advice.??? “Patience. Memory storage. Both maxed out.??? “We’ve considered murder but never divorce.??? “Searched for happiness, but found contentment.??? “Memoirs editable. Wish life was, too.??? Now try it yourself, WriteMyMemoirs members, right here! Then when you return to your real memoir, you’ll appreciate the freedom of rambling on as long as you choose!

If you like “putting things in a nutshell,??? you’ll enjoy a trend now into its fifth year: the six-word memoir. Can you boil your life story down to six words?

You can add your mini-mini-tome to the growing list at the website of the publication that launched this idea, Smith Magazine, or go to AARP Magazine, which also collects people’s six-word memoirs. Or leave it here in a comment below, and we’ll start our own collection! The concept was inspired by the master of brief writing, Ernest Hemingway who, according to legend, answered a challenged to craft a short story of only six words by writing, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.??? Several books have come out of this project, starting with Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure.

Want some examples? From the Smith Magazine site: “Pregnancy: nine months of unsolicited advice.??? “Patience. Memory storage. Both maxed out.??? “We’ve considered murder but never divorce.??? “Searched for happiness, but found contentment.??? “Memoirs editable. Wish life was, too.??? Now try it yourself, WriteMyMemoirs members, right here! Then when you return to your real memoir, you’ll appreciate the freedom of rambling on as long as you choose!

Looking for Genealogy Help With Your Memoirs?

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Looking for Genealogy Help With Your Memoirs?
If you’ve decided to write your memoirs, you might wonder, “Where do I begin???? A really good place to start is with research. If you can’t name an ancestor farther back than Grandma, perhaps you would like to trace your genealogy through a few more generations.
I had no idea there were nearly 300,000 genealogy websites, but apparently there are and they’re all listed on Cyndi’s List. If it sounds like a daunting amount of work to go through so many sites, Cyndi’s List jump-starts your search by breaking the sites down to 180+ categories. Interested in passports? You’ll have your choice of 52 internet sites. Want to track down a member of the military? Check out any of 368 sites. Are your ancestors Australian? More than 1,200 sites can point you in the right direction.
The genealogist who owns the 15-year-old site, Cyndi Howell, also has written three books about going online to explore your ancestry. In her blogs, she emphasizes that the internet is a delivery system for traditional sources, not a new source in itself. It’s time-consuming, and you will be wise to keep a file on your computer with a few notes about the sites you’ve visited. Still, it brings all the libraries into your home and lets you sift through information without lifting a book. You never know what you’ll discover about your own family that will add richness to your memoirs!

If you’ve decided to write your memoirs, you might wonder, “Where do I begin???? A really good place to start is with research. If you can’t name an ancestor farther back than Grandma, perhaps you would like to trace your genealogy through a few more generations.

I had no idea there were nearly 300,000 genealogy websites, but apparently there are and they’re all listed on Cyndi’s List. If it sounds like a daunting task to go through so many sites, Cyndi’s List jump-starts your search by breaking the sites down to 180+ categories. Interested in passports? You’ll have your choice of 52 internet sites. Want to track down a member of the military? Check out any of 368 sites. Are your ancestors Australian? More than 1,200 sites can point you in the right direction.

The genealogist who owns the 15-year-old site, Cyndi Howell, also has written three books about going online to explore your ancestry. In her blogs, she emphasizes that the internet is a delivery system for traditional sources, not a new source in itself. It’s time-consuming, and you will be wise to keep a file on your computer with a few notes about the sites you’ve visited. Still, it brings all the libraries into your home and lets you sift through information without lifting a book. You never know what you’ll discover about your own family that will add richness to your memoirs!

Writing in Another Person’s Voice

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Writing in Another Person’s Voice
It’s easy to become part of interesting discussions on social networking sites and, of course, we always invite you to ask questions or contribute thoughts on our WriteMyMemoirs page on Facebook. Over on LinkedIn recently, on a page called “Women’s Memoirs,??? a member asked for advice about writing a memoir for her deceased brother. She wanted to write it in his voice and wondered how to go about doing that.
I understand the desire to do this for someone you’ve lost, but ultimately I don’t believe it’s fair unless it was discussed at length before the person’s death. It’s one thing to be the ghostwriter—please forgive the apt term in this case—when all you’re doing is putting down on paper what the person had intended to write himself if he hadn’t run out of time or been too weak or whatever kept him from completing his memoir. But it’s another thing to take it upon yourself to write in his voice just because you think he might have liked that or for your own satisfaction.
The special nature of a memoir is that it’s so much a piece of us. We each have a voice. When that voice is silenced, I don’t believe anyone else has a right to assume it. If you want to do that, then you should call your book “fiction??? or “fictionalized history.??? Otherwise, my advice to that man’s sister is to focus her own memoir on her memories of her brother. That’s fair.

It’s easy to become part of interesting discussions on social networking sites and, of course, we always invite you to ask questions or contribute thoughts on our WriteMyMemoirs page on Facebook. Over on LinkedIn recently, on a page called “Women’s Memoirs,??? a member asked for advice about writing a memoir for her deceased brother. She wanted to write it in his voice and wondered how to go about doing that.

I understand the desire to do this for someone you’ve lost, but ultimately I don’t believe it’s fair unless it was discussed at length before the person’s death. It’s one thing to be the ghostwriter—please forgive the apt term in this case—when all you’re doing is putting down on paper what the person had intended to write himself if he hadn’t run out of time or been too weak or whatever kept him from completing his memoir. But it’s another thing to take it upon yourself to write in his voice just because you think he might have liked that or for your own satisfaction.

The special nature of a memoir is that it’s so much a piece of us. We each have a voice. When that voice is silenced, I don’t believe anyone else has a right to assume it. If you want to do that, then you should call your book “fiction??? or “fictionalized history.??? Otherwise, my advice to that man’s sister is to focus her own memoir on her memories of her brother. That’s fair.

Don’t Listen to Naysayers Who Underestimate You

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Don’t Listen to Naysayers Who Underestimate You
The other day we had a phone call from a new member who has wanted to write her life story for a long time and now is finally pushing herself to do it. I think it’s quite common to keep putting off this longstanding goal until we have time “someday.??? This caller simply dialed up her determination. Everyone has time. It’s all about priorities. Instead of that hour you watch TV, surf the Internet or even read, you could be writing.
Time wasn’t the caller’s major roadblock, though. Whenever she’d mention her intention to write her memoirs, friends and family members would downplay her ability to carry it through. As the first person in her family to graduate from college, and currently pursuing her master’s degree, she knew that she could do whatever she put her mind to doing. She’d had to overcome the same negativity to achieve those previous goals. In fact, she aimed to have her story inspire others to overcome their own obstacles, and she wanted to write it while she was still young and her memories were fresh.
I was very impressed and realized that many of you may be facing the same negativity. Here at Write My Memoirs we support you and believe in you! We know you can do it! And, as we told the caller, if you need writing help please contact us because if getting your story down is important to you, it’s important to us, too.

blog79The other day we had a phone call from a new member who has wanted to write her life story for a long time and now is finally pushing herself to do it. I think it’s quite common to keep putting off this longstanding goal until we have time “someday.??? This caller simply dialed up her determination. Everyone has time. It’s all about priorities. Instead of that hour you watch TV, surf the Internet or even read, you could be writing.

Time wasn’t the caller’s major roadblock, though. Whenever she’d mention her intention to write her memoirs, friends and family members would downplay her ability to carry it through. As the first person in her family to graduate from college, and currently pursuing her master’s degree, she knew that she could do whatever she put her mind to doing. She’d had to overcome the same negativity to achieve those previous goals. In fact, she aimed to have her story inspire others to overcome their own obstacles, and she wanted to write it while she was still young and her memories were fresh.

I was very impressed and realized that many of you may be facing the same negativity. Here at Write My Memoirs we support you and believe in you! We know you can do it! And, as we told the caller, if you need writing help please contact us because if getting your story down is important to you, it’s important to us, too.

Cautionary Tale Reminds Everyone to “Sign Up Today!??? for WriteMyMemoirs

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Here at WriteMyMemoirs (WMM), we received a frustrating email recently from someone who could not find any record of memoirs that she had written. Two weeks earlier she had replaced her computer with a newer model. Her work had been saved to that computer’s hard drive, and now she had no access to it. She believed that she also had kept her story on some website or other. Her hope was that the website she’d joined was WMM, although trying to sign in was proving futile.

Our internal investigation showed that she never did sign up with us or write her story here. Perhaps her memoirs are floating out in cyberspace somewhere; who knows? We named our site Write My Memoirs for a reason: it’s easy to remember. Put even just “write memoirs??? into the Google search engine, and our site comes up on the first page. Clearly, the way this emailer found us now to write to us was that the site is so readily traceable and available.

Membership on WMM is free, writing your life story here is free and saving it to your account to keep it safe is also free. We know how much time, energy and commitment it takes to write every page of a memoir, and sometimes you cannot recreate what you have researched and written. We feel so bad for our emailer and urge you to please sign up today so that you do not repeat her mistake and lose your memoirs!

Your Name as a Pun in the Title of Your Memoir

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Your Name as a Pun in the Title of Your Memoir
To pick up from the post two weeks ago, as promised I will share with you some autobiography titles that are puns. The idea is to think of your first or last name as if it’s just a word. Does it sound like any other word? If that doesn’t work, maybe your story focuses heavily on your profession and you can use that instead. An example is the memoir of singer Davy Jones, They Made a Monkee Out of Me.
Some names are easier than others. When Chris Lemmon wrote a biography of his father, actor Jack Lemmon, their shared last name served up all sorts of ideas. He could have selected “Lemmon Aid??? or “Lemmon Juice??? or something, but he chose A Twist of Lemmon. The 2009 autobiography of “Full House??? actress Jody Sweetin is titled Unsweetined: A Memoir, while actor David Hasselhoff drew from both his name and his nickname to publish Don’t Hassel the Hoff.
“M.A.S.H.??? actor Jamie Farr could have gone with the obvious and called his memoir something like “Going Too Farr,??? but instead he chose to make the pun on the word “for??? and titled it Just Farr Fun. Go figure. Probably my favorite pun title belongs to Hank Ketchum, the creator of Dennis the Menace, who named his autobiography Merchant of Dennis. Give it some thought. Maybe hidden in your name lies the potential to devise a catchy title for your life story

To pick up from the post two weeks ago, as promised I will share with you some autobiography titles that are puns. The idea is to think of your first or last name as if it’s just a word. Does it sound like any other word? If that doesn’t work, maybe your story focuses heavily on your profession and you can use that instead. An example is the memoir of singer Davy Jones, They Made a Monkee Out of Me.

Some names are easier than others. When Chris Lemmon wrote a biography of his father, actor Jack Lemmon, their shared last name served up all sorts of ideas. He could have selected “Lemmon Aid??? or “Lemmon Juice??? or something, but he chose A Twist of Lemmon. The 2009 autobiography of “Full House??? actress Jody Sweetin is titled Unsweetined: A Memoir, while actor David Hasselhoff drew from both his name and his nickname to publish Don’t Hassel the Hoff.

“M.A.S.H.??? actor Jamie Farr could have gone with the obvious and called his memoir something like “Going Too Farr,??? but instead he chose to make the pun on the word “for??? and titled it Just Farr Fun. Go figure. Probably my favorite pun title belongs to Hank Ketchum, the creator of Dennis the Menace, who named his autobiography Merchant of Dennis. Give it some thought. Maybe hidden in your name lies the potential to devise a catchy title for your life story that no one else is likely to have.

A Posthumous Memoir Can Honor a Loved One

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Before I supply those puns I promised last time, I want to take this last blog post of the year to discuss a more serious matter. Last week one of my relatives lost his dad. His grandchildren are grown and got to know him, but his little great-grandchildren never will. That got us thinking here at WriteMyMemoirs about how to honor a loved one who has passed away.

When someone dies, the family typically hears all sorts of nice comments about the person. Friends and relatives tell stories you may not have heard before. You already have your account on WriteMyMemoirs, so it’s easy to write these down so that you never forget them. Just go to the table of contents and set up a new chapter with the name of the person whose memory you want to honor. It doesn’t have to be a family member; it can be a friend. Start with your own testimonial, and invite others to email you their comments that you can then copy into the chapter. With photos of the person at different ages, your tribute will be complete.

After you have recorded as many comments as you feel necessary, you can have a small memorial book published right here on WriteMyMemoirs by going to our Publishing Page. Distribute one copy to every person who contributed thoughts, and save a few for future generations to come along. This could be an amazing tribute to someone you miss.

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Then just set up a chapter and start writing your memoir. Don’t worry about rules. There are no rules to writing your memoir; there are only trends. These trends are based on techniques and features identified in current top-selling memoirs. At best, they’re the flavor of the month. If you’re capturing your life in print for your family, for your own gratification or to inspire readers, rather than aiming to set off Hollywood screenplay bidding wars, these trends don’t even apply to you. You’ll write the memoir that suits you best, and it will be timeless, not trend-driven.There are no rules, but there are four steps:

1. Theme/framework
2. Writing
3. Editing/polishing
4. Self-publishing

You’ve researched this, too, and you’ve been shocked at the price for getting help with any one of those steps, much less all four. That’s because most memoir sites promise to commercialize your work. They’ll follow a formula based on current memoir trends, because they want to convince you that they can turn your memoir into a best-seller. These sites overwhelm you with unnecessary information not to help you, the memoir author, but to address Search Engine Optimization (SEO) algorithms so they can sell more.

That’s not what we do at Write My Memoirs. Our small community of coaches, writers and editors are every bit as skilled as any you’ll find, and we charge appropriately for their expertise and the time they’ll spend helping you craft a compelling, enjoyable read. But you won’t pay an upcharge for other websites’ commercialization, the marketing that follows, and the pages of intimidating “advice.” You can sell your book if you like—we have ISBNs available for you—but our organic process of capturing your story takes a noncommercial path.

If you want help with any or all of the four steps above, choose from our services or save money by selecting one of our packages. If you’d like to talk about what’s right for you, schedule a call. One year from now, you can be holding your published memoir in your hand. And at that point, it will be a big deal!

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