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memoirs

Another Website Offers a “Memoirs??? Type of Catharsis

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Writing your memoirs can be a way to give yourself closure regarding an episode in your life and finally get something “off your chest.??? When you do, are you directing any of that explanation to a specific person?

Yesterday, a column by Barbara Brotman in my hometown’s Chicago Tribune alerted readers to wouldhavesaid.com, a website that invites everyone to post anything they want to put out there, really. Some contributors write to someone who has died, to someone with whom they’ve lost contact or even to themselves or their “younger selves???; others express a thought they cannot bring themselves to say face-to-face to someone; still others write something they wish the world in general to know.

The contributors say that putting their long-held sentiments into words feels cathartic. As you write your memoirs, you may experience a similar catharsis when you picture various people reading your words. Perhaps you’ll express your regret about something you said or did, or you’ll want someone to see how life turned out for you. The writing process itself may bring you all sorts of surprises, relief and, of course, a sense of accomplishment. What I love about setting a goal to write your memoirs is that the benefit comes not only from the wonderful product you’ll have for your friends and relatives, but also from the process of remembering your life and recording it precisely as you want to present it. It just feels so good.

Daughters Persuade a Dad to Write His Memoirs

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While at some point many of us think about writing our memoirs, fewer actually commit to it. I wonder whether a little coaxing from family members is what makes the difference between just thinking about it and actually writing our life story.

Recently I came across a blog called “My Dad’s Memoirs,??? posted nearly three years ago by the daughters of an aging father. The preface begins: “From time to time since my retirement in 1977 (at the age of 60 years) it has been suggested to me by family and friends that I might commit to paper some of the stories of my life. This I have now decided to do, so that my grandchildren, at least, may be given an insight into a few of the many interesting experiences which have come my way over the years.???

The writer, a Scottish gentleman, proceeds to write 15 chapters detailing his early life and his war experiences before wrapping up with some more current tales. He skips much of what came in between; it’s not necessary to write parts of your life you find uninteresting or don’t care to share with readers. In this case, the author stuck to those memories that provided enjoyment in the process of retelling. I think that’s valid. If you’ve had a rocky marriage, a distasteful job or a difficult illness, for example, you can write a memoir that simply omits the unpleasant chapters of your life. Write about whatever you want. This is your story to tell, no one else’s.

Will Your High School Writing Class Help You in Writing Memoirs?

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For many people who sit down to write memoirs, the last time they had an important writing assignment was back in high school. So you may find yourself struggling to recapture lessons you learned in English class when you were just a teen. Even if you attended college and wrote papers for courses there, you may have trouble recalling the writing principles you learned that many years ago.

So let me refresh your memory. Typically, young students learn to write in a formula that requires each paragraph to start with a “topic sentence??? followed by three sentences that support that topic. The next step is to shape that topic sentence so that it doubles as a transition from your last paragraph’s topic to the new topic.

This construction is adequate for new writers, and the grammar you learned will serve you well. But to develop any sophistication in your writing, sooner or later you’ll have to abandon strict adherence to any formula. Once you do that and allow your instincts to guide you, you’ll discover your own writing style. Your paragraphs will be more varied and, therefore, more interesting to read. Your sentences will flow harmoniously, losing the staccato feel that characterizes formulaic writing. This assignment you’ve given yourself—writing your memoirs—comes from the heart of an adult who’s had a lifetime of experiences, so don’t fall back too much on what you learned in high school.

What If You Want to Write a Non-Memoir?

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Sometimes people ask me if it’s okay to use their WriteMyMemoirs account to write something other than a memoir. They may have in mind a short story, novel, essay, poem, biography of someone else, political commentary, history or random non-fiction book. So is it okay? Yes, it’s fine!

Our helpful hints on this site mostly address the particulars of recalling one’s life story, but some involve writing in general. For example, we mention some good habits to form in order to stay motivated to reach your writing goal. These apply to all types of writing. You want to be able to stick with a piece and see it through to the end.

You also can begin your work here by journaling—recording events that strike you in some way. I refer to a journal as a “diary for grownups.??? Having it online means you can write from wherever you are and keep it all in one place. As a collection, your journal entries may even become chapters in a type of memoir, perhaps focusing more on the current segment of your life than on tracing your entire life’s span. So please feel free to keep your writing safe here in our little writers’ haven, memoir or not. No matter what type of writing you’re doing, we’re happy to have you!

Google Can Be a Resource for Memoir Writers

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In a blog last month, I suggested various websites to help you in any research you need to support your memoirs and check facts against your memory. Along those lines, I’d like to refer you to an article by Simon Mackie on webworkerdaily.com that offers tips on using Google for easy research. For memoir writers, A very relevant suggestion from this article is to use Google to research a specific topic within a time frame. “Say, for example, you want to look for information about Olympic events that took place in the 1950s,??? Mackie writes. “You could use this search: Olympics 1950..1960.???

I use many of Mackie’s “top ten??? myself. One way I constantly use Google is to check spelling. Start inserting a word or name, and it will finish what you’ve started and suggest topics with that term—spelled correctly. It’s so quick! I look for phone numbers by putting in the name of the company or person with the area code, and Google finishes the number for me. Currency conversions and finding out what time it is anywhere in the world are other handy Google applications.

This article points out that Google has a calculator, which I didn’t know. Just type in your math problem and push enter, and your answer will appear. If you find more ways to use Google and other common websites as you write your life story, we’d appreciate your sharing your insights with all the members of WriteMyMemoirs. Just reply to the blog right here!

Fellow Blogger Challenges People to Read Memoirs This Year

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Reading other people’s memoirs is a great way to get acquainted with the autobiography genre. Frequently here on our blog, I encourage all of you considering, or already in the process of, writing your memoirs to pick up autobiographies written both recently and long ago. Now another blogger has set forth a challenge to read at least four memoirs in 2010. She writes for her own site, The Betty and Boo Chronicles.

To participate, all you have to do is sign up with the site and list the book(s) you’re reading. You can start by going either to the first link above or click here to access a follow-up entry. The blogger, Melissa, says she purposely set the bar low—four memoirs is not burdensome—so that people could easily join the challenge.

Melissa writes: “I’m so thrilled by all the enthusiasm for The Memorable Memoir Reading Challenge! Thank you all for joining. I had no idea what to expect from my first hosted challenge, and I have to say, this is a lot of fun. I’m adding so many great-sounding memoirs to my want-to-read list and discovering a bunch of new (to me) blogs. Hopefully you’re doing the same and liking what you’re finding here.???

As a Second Language for Memoir Writing, English Is Challenging!

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Many of the inquiries we receive about help writing memoirs comes from our members who did not grow up speaking English. If you want to write your life story in English but are not a native speaker, it’s not easy to get this language exactly right. You can make yourself understood when you’re speaking it, but to write it properly the level of mastery must be higher.

As an editor, I receive a lot of press releases, and it’s frequently apparent that either the writer or translator is a non-native speaker. As an example, a recent press release that came my way read, “The progressive approach to education, as well as their own down to earth personality’s make for a perfect cocktail to share excitement!??? I can tell what this means, but the choice of words is not natural-sounding, and the grammar is not entirely correct. I would rework this sentence to say, “The instructors’ progressive approach to education combines perfectly with their down-to-earth personalities to generate excitement!???

At WriteMyMemoirs, we encourage you to craft your memoirs however you please—in English or in any language you like—and we believe that you have a valuable story to tell no matter how extensive your knowledge of English grammar. If you do want help with the language, however, please email us or watch the site for our editing services coming soon.

Find Write My Memoirs on Facebook!

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Since we hope to reach everyone who needs help and motivation with the somewhat daunting task of writing a memoir, WriteMyMemoirs has just joined Facebook! We are a “fan page,??? which means you become our fans rather than our friends. In Facebook land, there’s a distinction.

What it means to our members is that you can easily talk to us and talk to each other. Post something on our wall! We will use that space to alert everyone when a new blog entry has been posted here on writemymemoirs.com, and we’ll keep up with other things relevant to writing an autobiography.

If you are not very familiar with Facebook, you might want to give it a try. Social networking sites like Facebook can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family members, particularly younger people. You can share photos, everyday thoughts and links to other Internet websites. As time goes on, perhaps our little memoir community will grow and we’ll have some good discussions going about writing, memories and life in general. See you over there!

Avoid Regrets: Write While You’re Healthy

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Mary Schmich, a columnist for my hometown newspaper, the Chicago Tribune, frequently writes about personal topics, and this past Sunday Mary wrote about her aging mother. Although she no longer can care for herself, Mary’s mother has taken up writing. Mary tells readers: “For a while now, she has been scribbling notes on every kind of paper. Big sheets, little sheets, lined, unlined, white, yellow, blue.??? She has the use of only one hand, which “opens just enough to let a pen slip between her fingers.??? Among the many things the older woman writes are stories from her childhood. At this stage of her life, Mary’s mother feels the need to write her memoirs.

My plea to you is not to wait that long. You have the advantage of knowing how to use a computer, and you probably have the use of both of your hands. Mary found her mother’s legal pad with the heading, “Topics to Write About.??? You don’t need a legal pad; you can keep your topics online here at WriteMyMemoirs. You won’t lose them or forget the topics you wanted to include.

But if you wait too long, like Mary’s mom, all you will have is the topic titles and not the life stories that go with them. You’re here to write your memoirs. Set up a schedule and get them done, because time goes so very quickly.

Can You Find a Publisher for Your Memoirs?

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The quick answer to that question is: Yes! But let me quickly add that the publisher you find to publish your memoirs may be right in the mirror. Today, it’s a steep uphill climb for a previously unpublished author to get any type of book published—fiction or nonfiction—in the traditional manner. It’s tough to find an agent who will represent you and, even if you do, the odds are still stacked against receiving a contract offer from a publishing house.

But the flip side about today is that authors do not have to go the traditional route in order to sell a book. Self-publishing is now accepted as a valid way to get your book out there. Without a publisher doing the distribution, you will have to contact bookstores yourself or set up a website to sell your book on your own and, with limited distribution, chances are that your book will not land on an best-seller list (although you never know). But you also will not have to share the profits. In traditional publishing, the author’s cut typically falls below 10 percent of the sale price!

You might want to read David Louis Edelman’s account of his difficulty in finding a publisher for what eventually became his best-selling science fiction novel—and Edelman already was a professional writer with much published nonfiction. Next time, I’ll tell you about Amazon’s tempting offer to self-published authors. Meanwhile, if you want help publishing your memoirs, please contact us.

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Then just set up a chapter and start writing your memoir. Don’t worry about rules. There are no rules to writing your memoir; there are only trends. These trends are based on techniques and features identified in current top-selling memoirs. At best, they’re the flavor of the month. If you’re capturing your life in print for your family, for your own gratification or to inspire readers, rather than aiming to set off Hollywood screenplay bidding wars, these trends don’t even apply to you. You’ll write the memoir that suits you best, and it will be timeless, not trend-driven.There are no rules, but there are four steps:

1. Theme/framework
2. Writing
3. Editing/polishing
4. Self-publishing

You’ve researched this, too, and you’ve been shocked at the price for getting help with any one of those steps, much less all four. That’s because most memoir sites promise to commercialize your work. They’ll follow a formula based on current memoir trends, because they want to convince you that they can turn your memoir into a best-seller. These sites overwhelm you with unnecessary information not to help you, the memoir author, but to address Search Engine Optimization (SEO) algorithms so they can sell more.

That’s not what we do at Write My Memoirs. Our small community of coaches, writers and editors are every bit as skilled as any you’ll find, and we charge appropriately for their expertise and the time they’ll spend helping you craft a compelling, enjoyable read. But you won’t pay an upcharge for other websites’ commercialization, the marketing that follows, and the pages of intimidating “advice.” You can sell your book if you like—we have ISBNs available for you—but our organic process of capturing your story takes a noncommercial path.

If you want help with any or all of the four steps above, choose from our services or save money by selecting one of our packages. If you’d like to talk about what’s right for you, schedule a call. One year from now, you can be holding your published memoir in your hand. And at that point, it will be a big deal!

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