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Every ordinary life story is extraordinary!

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Every ordinary life story is extraordinary!

Rosanne Ullman

Rosanne Ullman owns Write My Memoirs (writemymemoirs.com) to help people write and self-publish their life stories and co-owns Home Memoir (homememoir.com) to help people capture, in a coffee-table book, the love they have for their home. For 20 years, Rosanne taught grammar at a local adult education program, New Trier eXtention, and that well-received course is the basis for the Write My Memoirs Grammar and Writing Course. Rosanne has a long freelance career writing for and about various industries, particularly the professional beauty industry. Her observations about life appear frequently on various blog sites and include regular contributions to Sixty and Me (sixtyandme.com) and Boomer Cafe (boomercafe.com). Rosanne also is the author of the children’s picture book The Case of the Disappearing Kisses. She holds a Master’s degree in Journalism (MSJ) from Northwestern University’s famed Medill School of Journalism.

Ideas for Memoir Structure

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For many memoir authors, their life story isn’t their first stab at creating some form of art. When those authors decide to write a memoir, it’s natural for them to want to include their other artform. So let’s say you’ve written poetry all your life, or you have a file of newspaper clippings of your op-eds published in your local paper. Maybe you’re a painter or even a composer. Perhaps you have a file full of your essays or you’ve kept a list of favorite quotes by other people. Today, even tweets or Facebook posts could be considered a body of work. Can you incorporate your work or favorites into your memoir? Yes, of course you can.

“Most memoirs read like a book, chapter by chapter with some photos added somewhere,” writes Nancy Julien Kopp in her review of the memoir Wingin’ It Beyond the Veil by Joan Breit. “Ms Breit’s book offers a series of vignettes that give us a slice of her life at a time. Between the vignettes, she has included scripture verses, poetry (both her own and others) and photos. I found all that is included to be delightful and I thoroughly enjoyed piecing her life together via the individual vignettes.”

If you’re a photographer—professional or hobbyist—it’s obvious to picture how you can use your work in your memoir. But through photography you also can share with readers your paintings or a page of musical staff from a song. You can begin each chapter with a pertinent piece of your past writing. You can pepper your memoir with lines of your poems. Sharing yourself as a creatively multifaceted person will bring readers closer to who you feel you are, which is exactly what you want your memoir to communicate.

What You Can Learn From Olivia de Havilland

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We all want to own our legacies, but we’re not fully in control of that. The Supreme Court announced yesterday that it would not consider 102-year-old “Gone With the Wind” actress Olivia de Havilland’s claim that a TV show needed her permission to present her likeness and character. The FX miniseries “Feud: Bette and Joan,” was based on the rivalry between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. In it, Catherine Zeta-Jones portrayed de Havilland as somewhat of a gossip, which the elder actress found offensive. The Supreme Court let stand a California appeals court’s decision that de Havilland had no say in how she was depicted in art. The decision read in part: “Whether a person portrayed in one of these expressive works is a world-renowned film star—‘a living legend’—or a person no one knows, she or he does not own history. Nor does she or he have the legal right to control, dictate, approve, disapprove, or veto the creator’s portrayal of actual people.”

You’re probably not famous, and you most likely will not find yourself portrayed as a character in a movie or TV show. But you still could be mentioned in someone’s memoir. Right now, someone who knows you could be writing up an account of your actions. Maybe in that person’s eyes you were the unfair boss, nerdy cousin or mean girl in high school, while you recall a completely different dynamic to the relationship between the two of you. Go to any of the memoir discussions on social media, and a common question is: Should I change the names of the people I include in my memoir? The thing is that changing the name doesn’t necessarily hide the identity. People who know the author are likely to recognize the person whether the name is real or not.

Sometimes these authors will approach the people and ask whether they mind being included in the memoir. If you’re approached, you can always plead with the author not to include you. That may work, or it may not. Sometimes all the author is doing is giving you a little advance notice, but the mention is a done deal. So what can you do? Write your own story. Own your truth. Provide the narrative of your life as you recall it. That way, you’ll at least have your version and, unlike Olivia de Havilland, won’t have to ask the Supreme Court to decide whether you’re a gossip or just a really open person.

Get Social With Write My Memoirs!

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Write My Memoirs is popping up all over social media. Find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @writemymemoirs! In addition to the Write My Memoirs page on Facebook, there’s the brand new Write My Memoirs Group. Let’s get together in this group to share our hopes and dreams, challenges and frustrations, laughter and tears—everything that’s part of the deal when you’re writing a memoir or, really, any book.

I’ll be among the people you can find hanging out in the Write My Memoirs Group. I’ve been a professional journalist for 40+ years, I taught grammar and writing for 20 years and I’m also an admin on Facebook’s Grammar Matters. You can find more of my interests by following Rosanne Ullman on Pinterest, where I’m just starting to build boards.

In the Write My Memoirs Group on Facebook, I’ll be happy to answer your grammar questions, coach you on your writing and motivate you to finish your memoir. Let’s do all of that for each other! I invite English language experts to help me inspire all authors, including those whose first language is not English. Is your New Year’s resolution to start—or finish—your memoir? The question of resolutions was brought up today in the Write My Memoirs Group, so please join and share! Get others’ feedback by posting brief excerpts or full chapters from your writing, and turn around to do the same for them. I can’t wait to see what you’re working on!

 

Religion in Memoirs

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You believe in God or you don’t. You belong to an organized religious sect or your don’t. You are very observant, somewhat observant or not observant. How much of that do you put in your memoir? So many elements make up the person you are, and religion is one of them. So it’s understandable that religion has a role in many a memoir, but the reasons are all over the place:

  • A chapter on your childhood may include your experience with religious education.
  • Authors who write about difficulty, illness or trauma often explain how faith helped them through it.
  • Your parents may be of two different religions, or you may have married someone of a different faith.
  • If you rejected your family’s religion, then that, too, impacted your life and the choices you made.
  • Anyone with a career in a religious field will have a lot of religious topics to write about.

Yet probably the most common reason to mention religion in a memoir is that so many memories revolve around religious traditions. Christmastime, for example, can remind you of anything from the magic of opening presents under the tree while still in your pajamas to the stress of all the expectations to the loneliness of being far from home during the holidays. A simple activity like stringing lights around a front door can launch a whole chapter that reveals much about your family life.

At this time of year, here at Write My Memoirs we’re thinking of you, our authors and perhaps future authors, making new memories and living new stories to fill in the text of your lives. We hope all of yours are happy and funny and touching.

The 12 Days of Memoir

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On the first day of Memoir, my memoir coach gave to me….

Here’s a checklist for writing your memoir that just happens to count to 12. It’s from Mary Karr, author of The Art of Memoir.

  1. Paint a physical reality that uses all the senses and exists in the time you’re writing about—a singular, fascinating place peopled with objects and characters we believe in. Should include the speaker’s body or some kinesthetic elements.
  2. Tell a story that gives the reader some idea of your milieu and exploits your talent. We remember in stories, and for a writer, story is where you start.
  3. Package information about your present self or backstory so it has emotional conflict or scene. All the rest of these are interior:
  4. Set emotional stakes—why is the writer passionate about or desperate to deal with the past—the hint of an inner enemy?
  5. Think, figure, wonder, guess. Show yourself weighing what’s true, your fantasies, values, schemes, and failures.
  6. Change times back and forth—early on, establish the “looking back” voice, and the “being in it” voice.
  7. Collude with the reader about your relationship with the truth and memory.
  8. Show not so much how you suffer in long passages, but how you survive. Use humor or an interjecting adult voice to help a reader over the dark places.
  9. Don’t exaggerate. Trust that what you felt deeply is valid.
  10. Watch your blind spots—in revision, if not before, search for reversals. Beware of what you avoid and what you cling to.
  11. (Related to all of the above) Love your characters. Ask yourself what underlay their acts and versions of the past. Sometimes I pray to see people I’m angry at or resentful of as God sees them, which heals both page and heart.
  12. And one big fat caveat: lead with your own talent, which may cause you to ignore all I’ve recommended.

Voice to Text: 5 Reasons to “Speak” Your Life Story

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A year or so ago I was editing a memoir for one of our Write My Memoirs authors who had requested our editing services, and I realized that something was different. The language and sentence structure sounded natural, as if a native English speaker were telling you his life story. But the many misspellings were odd, not the typical spelling errors that people make. I came to the conclusion that this was a “voice-to-text” manuscript. The software didn’t get everything correct, but it was close enough for me to figure out the words.

I never asked whether my hunch was right and, if so, why the author chose to speak his life rather than to write it. But this got me thinking about all the reasons someone might use the increasingly sophisticated voice-to-text software on the market today. Here’s what I came up with:

  1. It’s quick. You almost certainly can speak faster than you can type, even if you’re taking the time to enunciate clearly or specify punctuation.
  2. Look, no hands! The advantage to this is obvious if you have a condition such as carpal tunnel syndrome or anything that makes typing difficult or awkward.
  3. Sitting not required. Even if you don’t have physical limitations with your hands, other body parts—your back, for instance—may ache after you’ve been sitting for long periods. When you use voice recognition software, you can walk around speaking into a laptop or phone, killing two birds with one stone—getting in your walking steps while writing your memoir.
  4. No keyboard. With voice-to-text software, you don’t need a desktop or laptop. You can use a tablet.
  5. Accuracy. A skilled speller and typist will, at best, break even on this, but someone who isn’t that great at spelling and typing will find a big relief from letting the words write themselves.

So think about it! Blogger Clifford Chi @bigreddog16 identifies eight worthy voice recognition software programs.

Check Out Our New Video!

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I hope you’re enjoying the fresh, modern look of the Write My Memoirs website, the updated Timeline feature and the ease of adding and managing your book’s chapters. Along with our relaunch we created a little video to motivate anyone who’s ever wanted to write a memoir to take the first step and join Write My Memoirs.

The idea behind the video is the same as the concept of the website: that every life is unique and worth documenting. Everyone has had experiences that will resonate with readers, but no one has lived your exact life except you. Most people have friends and family members who will appreciate a written account of your life. Some people write a memoir that shares a story of hardship or abuse, often as a cautionary tale for others. What memoir authors all have in common is that it helps them to write out their point of view of their own life.

The video takes that into consideration—that both happy times and sad times enter our lives. Reliving experiences can be nostalgic or cathartic. Keep those memories close and read your book often, or write your book as a way to let go and move on. We hope you enjoy the video:

A New Children’s Book Broadens the Write My Memoirs Portfolio

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The Publishing Services available at Write My Memoirs were designed to make it easy for Write My Memoirs authors to bring their vision to life in a book. We value our role in making this happen for our authors, and we take a lot of care with the layout of the text and photographs. But we all should get out of our comfort zone now and then, right?

Our latest published book is not a memoir at all, but a story for preschool children. Titled The Case of the Disappearing Kisses, the book is written by Write My Memoirs owner Rosanne Ullman. It’s available for purchase right on the writemymemoirs.com website. Preorders are being accepted now for delivery before Christmas.

If you would like to self-publish a book you have written, please consider using the Publishing Services available with Write My Memoirs. Your book does not have to be a memoir; we publish all reading categories. Our publishing rates are competitive, and we work closely with you to make sure you are happy with the product. Meanwhile, please check out this sweet children’s book! It makes a great gift for any family with small children.

The Case of the Disappearing Kisses

Why Young People Write Memoirs

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The founder of Write My Memoirs was in his 60s when he figured out that people about his age needed a good website to anchor their memoir writing. In more recent years, we’ve noticed a trend—people much younger than their 60s also are joining and engaging with Write My Memoirs. It seemed odd at first. How much life is there to write about after only 20, 30 or even 40 years? The answer to that lies in the very heart of what a memoir is.

“Every event, and certainly every event worth writing about, will always remain tattooed on our neurons,” writes biographer Benjamin Moser in a New York Times article, “Should There Be a Minimum Age for Writing a Memoir?” Moser says it’s never too early to start writing about those events for the simple purpose of keeping a record. He calls it an “homage we pay ourselves.”

In the same article, young novelist and essayist Leslie Jamison makes a similar case for capturing the memory while it’s still fresh. “The narratives we tell about our own lives are constantly in flux,” she notes. “Our perspectives at each age are differently valuable. What age gains in remove it loses in immediacy: The younger version of a story gets told at closer proximity, with more fine-grain texture and less aerial perspective.”

In the article “Why Should You Write Your Memoir?” in Psychology Today, researcher Diana Raab reports her findings from interviews she conducted for her book, Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life. Younger people told her pretty much the same thing we hear from older memoir authors: they felt they had a story to share and wanted to tell it in their own voice, from their own perspective. “Additional reasons to write a memoir include preserving a family’s legacy, learning more about one’s ancestors, a search for personal identity, gaining insight into the past or healing from a traumatic experience,” Raab adds.

Our experience at Write My Memoirs is that our older authors look back on their entire lives and choose stories they consider worthy of inclusion in their memoir. The driving factor is the writing—a desire to write about their life. With younger people, the story itself is what drives the idea. Something distinctive, good or bad, happens to them and they want to make sure the story gets told. It’s a subtle difference, but we notice that age does influence how you present your memoir.

You’re the Star of the Article!

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Our Magazine-style Bio, the latest addition to our Writing Services, is very cool! This service offers a professionally written, magazine-style article about your life or any aspect of your life you choose as the focus. We can use information and stories you’ve already written up, supplemented by a phone or video-phone interview and any photos you want to include. If you have nothing in writing, we’ll craft the entire article from the phone interview.

The idea is to give you a focus piece that you can use according to your needs:

  • Include the link on your résumé to broaden potential employers’ view of your attributes.
  • Send it to your local news organizations, and they just might print it!
  • Post the link as part of a dating profile.
  • Print it out, frame each page and hang the framed pages on your office or home office wall.
  • Print out copies to place in binders and hand out to friends just for fun.
  • Incorporate the professionally written paragraphs into your own memoir.

The Magazine-style Bio is one of the many changes introduced with the Fall 2018 Write My Memoirs Relaunch. Find it by clicking on the Writing Services button at the top of the home page. You can be the next magazine profile star!

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Then just set up a chapter and start writing your memoir. Don’t worry about rules. There are no rules to writing your memoir; there are only trends. These trends are based on techniques and features identified in current top-selling memoirs. At best, they’re the flavor of the month. If you’re capturing your life in print for your family, for your own gratification or to inspire readers, rather than aiming to set off Hollywood screenplay bidding wars, these trends don’t even apply to you. You’ll write the memoir that suits you best, and it will be timeless, not trend-driven.There are no rules, but there are four steps:

1. Theme/framework
2. Writing
3. Editing/polishing
4. Self-publishing

You’ve researched this, too, and you’ve been shocked at the price for getting help with any one of those steps, much less all four. That’s because most memoir sites promise to commercialize your work. They’ll follow a formula based on current memoir trends, because they want to convince you that they can turn your memoir into a best-seller. These sites overwhelm you with unnecessary information not to help you, the memoir author, but to address Search Engine Optimization (SEO) algorithms so they can sell more.

That’s not what we do at Write My Memoirs. Our small community of coaches, writers and editors are every bit as skilled as any you’ll find, and we charge appropriately for their expertise and the time they’ll spend helping you craft a compelling, enjoyable read. But you won’t pay an upcharge for other websites’ commercialization, the marketing that follows, and the pages of intimidating “advice.” You can sell your book if you like—we have ISBNs available for you—but our organic process of capturing your story takes a noncommercial path.

If you want help with any or all of the four steps above, choose from our services or save money by selecting one of our packages. If you’d like to talk about what’s right for you, schedule a call. One year from now, you can be holding your published memoir in your hand. And at that point, it will be a big deal!

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